Lasting effects
Good Day,
I have been thinking recently about the impact of abuse on my everyday life. I came up with two things that I've noticed. One is how the abuse made me feel socially isolated, or exiled, from others and how this has greatly impacted my life up this very day. The other is how said abuse impacts my decision making ability.
With regard to feeling exiled, I distinctly remember feeling exiled from my siblings at a time which had to have started after the abuse. And this feeling has impacted how I have felt and acted around others ever since. This feeling, and the resultant avoidant behavior, are so strong and well ingrained that I think they have resulted in me developing a personailty disorder. Of course there are other factors that contribute to such an outcome, like temperament and general environment growing up. Nevertheless, it's pretty clear to me the role of abuse on my personality development. The expression "socially non-existent" comes to mind when I think about my "way of being" around others in a group. And, generally speaking, social avoidance is how I roll.
As far as my decision making abilty, I'd say that the abuse has impacted that greatly also. It seems to me I have an uncanny knack for ruining a good thing! And this dynamic has occurred over and over again in my life, up to this day, just like the feeling and avoidant behavior I describe above has. I believe that awareness of such negative impacts of abuse is a helpful thing. It's nice to have a place to post stuff like this, so thank you to all those who make this place possible. If you've read this thank you for your time. Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences surrounding this topic of how abuse/assault affects your everyday life.
Casmir
I have been thinking recently about the impact of abuse on my everyday life. I came up with two things that I've noticed. One is how the abuse made me feel socially isolated, or exiled, from others and how this has greatly impacted my life up this very day. The other is how said abuse impacts my decision making ability.
With regard to feeling exiled, I distinctly remember feeling exiled from my siblings at a time which had to have started after the abuse. And this feeling has impacted how I have felt and acted around others ever since. This feeling, and the resultant avoidant behavior, are so strong and well ingrained that I think they have resulted in me developing a personailty disorder. Of course there are other factors that contribute to such an outcome, like temperament and general environment growing up. Nevertheless, it's pretty clear to me the role of abuse on my personality development. The expression "socially non-existent" comes to mind when I think about my "way of being" around others in a group. And, generally speaking, social avoidance is how I roll.
As far as my decision making abilty, I'd say that the abuse has impacted that greatly also. It seems to me I have an uncanny knack for ruining a good thing! And this dynamic has occurred over and over again in my life, up to this day, just like the feeling and avoidant behavior I describe above has. I believe that awareness of such negative impacts of abuse is a helpful thing. It's nice to have a place to post stuff like this, so thank you to all those who make this place possible. If you've read this thank you for your time. Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences surrounding this topic of how abuse/assault affects your everyday life.
Casmir
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