Lacking motivation

[txb]

I'm really struggling with my academic work. Not because it's too hard. Just because I can't be bothered. I'm so behind now I don't even know where to start. I'm not lacking motivation because I'm depressed or anything. I'm pretty much the opposite. I want to do stuff. Like fix stuff, make stuff, do art, read, write, go outside. Anything except study. Last lot of work I did was really stressful, so I gave myself some time off and then just never went back to it. So now I've put myself back into a stressful situation. I have a 1500 word essay to submit in a couple of days and a project to submit next week, one that should have been about 6 weeks worth of work. I haven't even looked at what I'm supposed to do yet. A couple of days ago I did write a draft for the essay, but I pretty much feel like giving up. I can't ask for an extension for any of them just because I've been too lazy to do the work. I could just not submit them and still pass both courses. But the thought of seeing a zero next to my other good assignment scores doesn't really appeal. The thought of getting a poor grade for submitting a half assed effort doesn't feel good either. I could defer for a year (or six). Or just quit. But then quitting seems stupid considering I'm nearly at the end.

I think part of the problem is I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I'm pretty sure I don't want to continue on the degree path I'm on, but I don't really have any better ideas or options. I'd like to do something to do with art, but I'm not good enough at it. I'm not bad, but not good enough compared to other people. I also want to write, but I never let anyone read anything I've written. I can't make a career out of writing secret books for no one to read. I read that the average published author makes pretty much nothing anyway.

I'm sort of happy with my life as it is, but I know that's wrong and I should be aspiring for more. I just don't know what my aspirations should be. How do you figure out what you want to do or make future plans? How do I motivate myself? When I know I have to do something it's like a bratty little kid takes over and says "no, you can't make me". I know it's just a couple of assignments but it seems like something so huge that it's now impossible.

 

[txb]

I did the work I was supposed to do at the very last minute. I got my highest grade yet on the essay. 97%. My tutor said it was obvious I'd put a lot of hard work into it..... I have more work to do before I finish for the year and I have no motivation for that either.

I decided to quit university after this.

I have no other plans. Just hoping I'll hurry up and die soon.

I don't know why I have no motivation. The rules of being a man are all about being successful and driven and accomplishing things. I totally fail. I even fail at being a lazy person because I can't sleep or sit and watch tv.

People must hate me. I have an IQ score that's supposed to make me 'gifted' but I'm just wasting it. I'm mostly physically healthy and it's like I don't appreciate that. Once I was ok looking but I scarred myself up on purpose to make myself look ugly. It seems like every single thing I do is wrong. My life consists of me constantly embarrassing myself because I lack social skills. I even fail at speaking. I'm a massive drain on society from all the times I've been in hospital. I'm pretty much pointless.

 

[banterings]

I started writing my 36 page senior thesis midnight when it was due in 9 1/2 hours.

B+

I put myself through college working as a mechanic.

That was a job I could always fall back on. Perhaps you may feel better with a trade school.

 

[Nothing Man]

txb,

My heart goes out to you. I hope you can find yourself because I think that is the key. Not knowing what you are studying or even how you feel about it, is it possible you could be studying something else?

You are obviously bright and talented. I hope you can find a way to express yourself and be happy.

Mike

 

[txb]

I'm still failing. I have my final assignment to do and I can't seem to work up the motivation to start it. I have an exam I'm supposed to revise for too.

I also sort of fell out with my dad. He is studying for a degree too and I feel obligated to help him. But at the same time I hate doing this because we just argue and he gets all offended and hurt. I scored 99% for my design project. I think he hates me.

I started writing my 36 page senior thesis midnight when it was due in 9 1/2 hours.

B+

I put myself through college working as a mechanic.

That was a job I could always fall back on. Perhaps you may feel better with a trade school.

Is there a reason why you didn't start your thesis till the last minute? Just wondering. I can't figure out exactly what's wrong with me. If I'm just lazy, or it's the lack of motivation, or my lack of organisational skills. Or maybe I just don't like being told what to do.

How did you decide on being a mechanic? I just have no clue what I want to do. Sometimes it's like I want to do everything, so I can't decide, and sometimes I feel like there is nothing I could do right.

txb,

My heart goes out to you. I hope you can find yourself because I think that is the key. Not knowing what you are studying or even how you feel about it, is it possible you could be studying something else?

You are obviously bright and talented. I hope you can find a way to express yourself and be happy.

Mike

Thank you. I could totally change what I'm studying. I already changed from studying art to studying literature. Then from literature to design, then design to environmental design. Because I've changed around so much I haven't really got anywhere. I'm not sure what I could try next.

I seriously have no idea. Everyone else seems to know where they are going and what they want to do. Lately I felt like I wanted to do some kind of mental health advocacy, for young people especially, but that would involve working with people, and I don't like that. I'll probably have changed my mind next week anyway.