kind of a weird story
I know this is going to sound weird but I'm telling it anyway because it is, as it turns out, a roundabout way of remembering a CSA experience.
About a month or so ago I was invited by a friend to her home to take part in a group reading by a medium.
Frankly, while I am sensitive to the spiritual aspect of life, I am skeptical about such things as contacting the spirits of those who have passed on.
A group reading is, rather that the usual one on one session, about 12 to 20 people getting together with a medium. She meditates before the session begins and then seems to just come out with words or phrases that come to her.
For everything that she said, someone found a connection and only one person at a time. She got to me and started talking about my father who died 20 years ago. She described his personality with accuracy. She said that he was looking after me and that I should "buck up" which is just the sort of language he used.
This was entertaining and thought-provoking but not much beyond that.
I am aware that I have unfinished business with my father. I am not certain what all of it is but I know that he died before everything was said that might have been said.
Last Saturday, there was another group reading which I was looking forward to because the last one was entertaining. It was fun not just to hear what she had to say about my father but also to listen to others as they recognized people from their pasts.
She started off the session by saying the first word that came to her and it was my father's name. I hesitated acknowledging this because I was pretty sure someone else in the room would speak up since that is such a common name but none did. So, I did.
She said a number of things but the one that struck me most strongly was that he was feeling sorry for something that happened when I was 8 years old and wanted me to know that he felt sorry for what happened then.
This was odd in it's detail. And odd, because when I remember myself as about an 8 year old I see a very sad child feeling hopeless, helpless and alone.
I have been fairly certain that something traumatic happened to me at that age but I have no memories as specific as those of when I was younger.
The point is that all week this has been present in my thinking. Part of me has wanted to go through the old photos again to see if some memory is sparked but another part continues to not want to remember.
I go with the latter.
My theory is that the "medium" is a very intuitive person. Intuition is an odd thing when left to operate instead of the linear thinking we usually employ.
She says words that come to her intuitively and people respond intuitively also. I think the first thing their minds go to is memory of a loved one that they have unfinished business with.
I think this is one of things people want most and through this experience they may have an opportunity to work through the leftover feelings in their minds.
Its like a theraputic exercise, I think, in which the client is asked to write a letter to a loved one with whom they have some unfinished business, not with the intent to actually send it but rather to get out the thoughts and feelings that have been suppressed, to bring them forward so that they can be acknowledged.
About a month or so ago I was invited by a friend to her home to take part in a group reading by a medium.
Frankly, while I am sensitive to the spiritual aspect of life, I am skeptical about such things as contacting the spirits of those who have passed on.
A group reading is, rather that the usual one on one session, about 12 to 20 people getting together with a medium. She meditates before the session begins and then seems to just come out with words or phrases that come to her.
For everything that she said, someone found a connection and only one person at a time. She got to me and started talking about my father who died 20 years ago. She described his personality with accuracy. She said that he was looking after me and that I should "buck up" which is just the sort of language he used.
This was entertaining and thought-provoking but not much beyond that.
I am aware that I have unfinished business with my father. I am not certain what all of it is but I know that he died before everything was said that might have been said.
Last Saturday, there was another group reading which I was looking forward to because the last one was entertaining. It was fun not just to hear what she had to say about my father but also to listen to others as they recognized people from their pasts.
She started off the session by saying the first word that came to her and it was my father's name. I hesitated acknowledging this because I was pretty sure someone else in the room would speak up since that is such a common name but none did. So, I did.
She said a number of things but the one that struck me most strongly was that he was feeling sorry for something that happened when I was 8 years old and wanted me to know that he felt sorry for what happened then.
This was odd in it's detail. And odd, because when I remember myself as about an 8 year old I see a very sad child feeling hopeless, helpless and alone.
I have been fairly certain that something traumatic happened to me at that age but I have no memories as specific as those of when I was younger.
The point is that all week this has been present in my thinking. Part of me has wanted to go through the old photos again to see if some memory is sparked but another part continues to not want to remember.
I go with the latter.
My theory is that the "medium" is a very intuitive person. Intuition is an odd thing when left to operate instead of the linear thinking we usually employ.
She says words that come to her intuitively and people respond intuitively also. I think the first thing their minds go to is memory of a loved one that they have unfinished business with.
I think this is one of things people want most and through this experience they may have an opportunity to work through the leftover feelings in their minds.
Its like a theraputic exercise, I think, in which the client is asked to write a letter to a loved one with whom they have some unfinished business, not with the intent to actually send it but rather to get out the thoughts and feelings that have been suppressed, to bring them forward so that they can be acknowledged.