just wondering
just wondering
- Thread starterjimrh
- Start date
Dead Man Talking
Registrant
Hi Jim,
Sometimes, but not recently. Or perhaps I've become so accustomed to isolation that I don't realize I'm alone and/or lonely. Of course, Einstein would posit that we ARE in the middle of the universe. Just a little "relativity" humor. Sorry. ;-)
Michael
Sometimes, but not recently. Or perhaps I've become so accustomed to isolation that I don't realize I'm alone and/or lonely. Of course, Einstein would posit that we ARE in the middle of the universe. Just a little "relativity" humor. Sorry. ;-)
Michael
Thanks Michael, and I did appreciate the humor.
What I was trying to describe was the feeling that even though we may be in the middle of a busy airport, surrounded by hundreds of people, that we can feel completely and utterly isolated.
I mean the isolation of feeling that no-one understands in the least bit the disconnect that our souls have from the rest of humanity.
We may have many friends surrounding us, but does anyone really take the time to try to hear, to listen?
I read many posts on this site, and have withdrawn almost completely in the past year.
At least we have the ability to express ourselves somewhat openly here on ms.org. Occasionally there are guys who can read and listen and hear you.
Oftentimes I wish I had the courage to post freely as someone like Markgreyblue has (I admire your strength Mark). However, I don't have that.
So many of us turn into ourselves in a sort of implosion mode (or am I the only one?). I know we have a tremendous amount of passion, yet we are smothered by our own fate.
Just some thoughts.
Jimmer
What I was trying to describe was the feeling that even though we may be in the middle of a busy airport, surrounded by hundreds of people, that we can feel completely and utterly isolated.
I mean the isolation of feeling that no-one understands in the least bit the disconnect that our souls have from the rest of humanity.
We may have many friends surrounding us, but does anyone really take the time to try to hear, to listen?
I read many posts on this site, and have withdrawn almost completely in the past year.
At least we have the ability to express ourselves somewhat openly here on ms.org. Occasionally there are guys who can read and listen and hear you.
Oftentimes I wish I had the courage to post freely as someone like Markgreyblue has (I admire your strength Mark). However, I don't have that.
So many of us turn into ourselves in a sort of implosion mode (or am I the only one?). I know we have a tremendous amount of passion, yet we are smothered by our own fate.
Just some thoughts.
Jimmer
johnsurvived
Registrant
I used to feel that way a lot, but not lately. I even used to fantasize about being totally alone in the world, I mean like with everybody else just *poof!* disappearing one day leaving the entire planet for me. Isolation feels safe, still, but it used to be more so. I guess that's why I don't have that fantasy anymore, and why I can't even remember the last time I felt like I was floating a million miles away from anything.
i have isolated myself, too. disappointed by friends, family, lovers -- having always been passionate and generous, my expectations of others i very high (although my ability to compromise my expectations is very high, too)
..."the disconnect that our souls have from the rest of humanity."
and this phrase sticks out
while i am disconnect-ed/ing from others, i do not feel disconnected from humanity. we are probably the most "humane" individuals i know
my roommate, who i had thought was betraying me too, pointed out in a discussion that my generosity, my friendship helped him to make a huge leap (he moved to baltimore because i was here) and that helped him make a lot more money at a much better job. he has witnessed how many people have trampled on me and was making a point that he's been here for me for 3 years going strong now and i was moved to tears.
yes, he's been here for me and i knew that but in my fog, i thought it was out of pity for my abusive friends; it's because i have been a good friend and he noticed and is loyal.
for him alone, i am thankful.
i hope you are all able to see we are not doomed to any fate. i used to think that. being alone is not a bad thing; being isolated is sometimes necessary.
trusting the right people with your truths is hard, because finding the right people is hard
i hope this makes sense or helps. i have trouble posting sometimes, too.
i just want some peace in 2006 - no more war, tsunamis, hurricanes, distruction.
peace!
john
..."the disconnect that our souls have from the rest of humanity."
and this phrase sticks out
while i am disconnect-ed/ing from others, i do not feel disconnected from humanity. we are probably the most "humane" individuals i know
my roommate, who i had thought was betraying me too, pointed out in a discussion that my generosity, my friendship helped him to make a huge leap (he moved to baltimore because i was here) and that helped him make a lot more money at a much better job. he has witnessed how many people have trampled on me and was making a point that he's been here for me for 3 years going strong now and i was moved to tears.
yes, he's been here for me and i knew that but in my fog, i thought it was out of pity for my abusive friends; it's because i have been a good friend and he noticed and is loyal.
for him alone, i am thankful.
i hope you are all able to see we are not doomed to any fate. i used to think that. being alone is not a bad thing; being isolated is sometimes necessary.
trusting the right people with your truths is hard, because finding the right people is hard
i hope this makes sense or helps. i have trouble posting sometimes, too.
i just want some peace in 2006 - no more war, tsunamis, hurricanes, distruction.
peace!
john
markgreyblue
Registrant
the existential pauses -
i hear you jim - but u have expressed this essential pause ... of space
i walked into china shop and said to the young owner's wife - out there seemed not like the city I know... just now -
everything seemed different -
she said - ah... a moment earlier too -
i went outside - (it's cold weather here)
to tend the shrubs at the store front -
she said - i felt i was not outside - and not inside -
a moment of nothing ? i almost tunneled downward...
i agree with each of us here. I don't know if the comments I make below are to be seen as hot air,
but perhaps they can be seen as.. affirming?
DMT: "...Or perhaps I've become so accustomed to isolation that I don't realize I'm alone and/or lonely.."
that happens at moments but I am seeing more and more ...!
and I agree with Hanginon,
"...i hope you are all able to see we are not doomed to any fate. i used to think that. being alone is not a bad thing; being isolated is sometimes necessary.
trusting the right people with your truths is hard, because finding the right people is hard..."
A reminder to us is we are all learning to know what is good for us - we get to mess up and try - again - it is how any creature learns -
and I think John you are so right - sometimes there are moments when the evidence comes right to us - and we say suddenly - WAIT - this is showing me "that" is for me in my life - whether it be your talent - your strength -
your intelligence - or that someone has been there - who makes you feel ok about you each day -
who loves and supports - in the way they can and do ...
lately - despite those feelings of existentialism - I have started to self appreciate - this has filled the space -
and also I can appreciate the space between us too better -
this is creating a new look at relations -
it's bring hope and expectation into alignment.
this comment though would take over the post -
so peace Jim, peace guys -
Happy Christmas,
M
i hear you jim - but u have expressed this essential pause ... of space
i walked into china shop and said to the young owner's wife - out there seemed not like the city I know... just now -
everything seemed different -
she said - ah... a moment earlier too -
i went outside - (it's cold weather here)
to tend the shrubs at the store front -
she said - i felt i was not outside - and not inside -
a moment of nothing ? i almost tunneled downward...
i agree with each of us here. I don't know if the comments I make below are to be seen as hot air,
but perhaps they can be seen as.. affirming?
DMT: "...Or perhaps I've become so accustomed to isolation that I don't realize I'm alone and/or lonely.."
that happens at moments but I am seeing more and more ...!
and I agree with Hanginon,
"...i hope you are all able to see we are not doomed to any fate. i used to think that. being alone is not a bad thing; being isolated is sometimes necessary.
trusting the right people with your truths is hard, because finding the right people is hard..."
A reminder to us is we are all learning to know what is good for us - we get to mess up and try - again - it is how any creature learns -
and I think John you are so right - sometimes there are moments when the evidence comes right to us - and we say suddenly - WAIT - this is showing me "that" is for me in my life - whether it be your talent - your strength -
your intelligence - or that someone has been there - who makes you feel ok about you each day -
who loves and supports - in the way they can and do ...
lately - despite those feelings of existentialism - I have started to self appreciate - this has filled the space -
and also I can appreciate the space between us too better -
this is creating a new look at relations -
it's bring hope and expectation into alignment.
this comment though would take over the post -
so peace Jim, peace guys -
Happy Christmas,
M