Just starting my journey - Seeking Help and Advice
I think you need to congratulate yourself on taking this step.
Just starting my journey - Seeking Help and Advice
- Thread starterBlund
- Start date
Blund
All I can tell you that things get better. My life exploded 4 years ago and I have found friends that understand. I know it is hard for you to understand and not feel complicit in it. You are not at fault and your friend does not understand your feelings. I had multiple perps even made mistakes of my own. But know this it does get better. Sorry your struggling but know we are here to help.
Woodenshoes
All I can tell you that things get better. My life exploded 4 years ago and I have found friends that understand. I know it is hard for you to understand and not feel complicit in it. You are not at fault and your friend does not understand your feelings. I had multiple perps even made mistakes of my own. But know this it does get better. Sorry your struggling but know we are here to help.
Woodenshoes
Hello,
I am new to this site and new to thinking of myself as a survivor. My abuse took place over several years, starting when i was 12 until I was 17 and left home for college. I have mostly denied admitting it was abuse.
I did this because it was my step sister who i liked very much abusing me. I knew it was wrong almost from the beginning but I did not understand how wrong. I was confused by my feelings. Both physical and mental. She told me, almost every time, 'that if i didn't want it, it wouldn't happen.' I believed her.
It got worse over time but I was conditioned to it so I didn't resist as much as I should have. When my stepmom all but told me that what was happening was good for me, I continued to believe that it was twisted and wrong, but not abusive.
It was only after leaving them and being away from them for a couple of years have I begun to understand what happened. I've lived with the worst humiliation and embarrassment and guilt.
There are a million stories about female victims. And they deserve our respect and help. But when a guy is abused, it is so hard to admit it. Even harder to talk about it. Especially if it was by a female.
I hope none of this upsets anyone. But I am hear hopefully to understand my guilt and learn to get past my humiliation. I am happy to chat with other male survivors. I would love to know strategies of how you manage and hopefully improve my outlook.
Thank you for reading,
Rob
I am new to this site and new to thinking of myself as a survivor. My abuse took place over several years, starting when i was 12 until I was 17 and left home for college. I have mostly denied admitting it was abuse.
I did this because it was my step sister who i liked very much abusing me. I knew it was wrong almost from the beginning but I did not understand how wrong. I was confused by my feelings. Both physical and mental. She told me, almost every time, 'that if i didn't want it, it wouldn't happen.' I believed her.
It got worse over time but I was conditioned to it so I didn't resist as much as I should have. When my stepmom all but told me that what was happening was good for me, I continued to believe that it was twisted and wrong, but not abusive.
It was only after leaving them and being away from them for a couple of years have I begun to understand what happened. I've lived with the worst humiliation and embarrassment and guilt.
There are a million stories about female victims. And they deserve our respect and help. But when a guy is abused, it is so hard to admit it. Even harder to talk about it. Especially if it was by a female.
I hope none of this upsets anyone. But I am hear hopefully to understand my guilt and learn to get past my humiliation. I am happy to chat with other male survivors. I would love to know strategies of how you manage and hopefully improve my outlook.
Thank you for reading,
Rob
Last edited by a moderator:
Hi Rob
First welcome to MS. Sorry for what you went though to need a place like this. It is a good thing you did find us. There are many here with similar stories. I am amazed how many there are. So one thing is for sure you are not alone in this. My story is different in that my abusers were men.
Again welcome I urge you to go and read in the forums you will find lots to do with this topic there.
Take care
Esterio
First welcome to MS. Sorry for what you went though to need a place like this. It is a good thing you did find us. There are many here with similar stories. I am amazed how many there are. So one thing is for sure you are not alone in this. My story is different in that my abusers were men.
Again welcome I urge you to go and read in the forums you will find lots to do with this topic there.
Take care
Esterio
Last edited by a moderator:
Rob150001
Sorry for the need to be here. Abuse is abuse it can be either sex. I hope you find the resources here a help. Call on us anytime.
Ws
Sorry for the need to be here. Abuse is abuse it can be either sex. I hope you find the resources here a help. Call on us anytime.
Ws
rob150001,
I am so sorry this happened and your step mom condoned it. Unfortunately there are so many guys who have been abused by females, there is a whole forum. Survivors of Female Abuse
Identifying yourself as a Survivor is a huge step. Congratulations! I've managed with the help of my therapist, men here, husband, trainer and close friends. This site has been a life saver.
I am so sorry this happened and your step mom condoned it. Unfortunately there are so many guys who have been abused by females, there is a whole forum. Survivors of Female Abuse
Identifying yourself as a Survivor is a huge step. Congratulations! I've managed with the help of my therapist, men here, husband, trainer and close friends. This site has been a life saver.
I will echo that. It wasn't your fault! Never was, never will be. It took me years to admit that - even though way down deep in there somewhere I knew it, the compassion of a therapist and a couple of men in my life who speak the truth to me brought me to a place to where I could see it clearly.
