Just another rant about god
So it seems like I’m in that low part of my life where I’m ready to quit. Again. And this is where I usually start reflecting on my 50 years of life and what a sad waste of time it has been. The abuse started around the age of 5, and I can’t help feel that my life has gotten worse from those moments onwards.
so I’m now at a place where I feel cheated of a lifetime, my abusers dead, I’d desecrate his grave if I knew where he was buried. I try to believe in the greater good but it’s quite evident that god is currently out of office.
I’ve had no justice, no help, I’m not in a good place in my life and on top of that, it seems as though I’ll be forced to have something put in me against my will which I find extremely triggering. I keep praying for a miracle but all I receive is silence. I heard a story yesterday of a man who was in hospital at the age of 17 and didn’t even believe in god but still had an angelic being sit with him and protect him.
so it appears that gods love is a lottery. If that does indeed exist.
I have so much quiet anger, compressed and seething. I get god or whoever didn’t intervene when I was being raped, but where is he/it now?
so I’m now at a place where I feel cheated of a lifetime, my abusers dead, I’d desecrate his grave if I knew where he was buried. I try to believe in the greater good but it’s quite evident that god is currently out of office.
I’ve had no justice, no help, I’m not in a good place in my life and on top of that, it seems as though I’ll be forced to have something put in me against my will which I find extremely triggering. I keep praying for a miracle but all I receive is silence. I heard a story yesterday of a man who was in hospital at the age of 17 and didn’t even believe in god but still had an angelic being sit with him and protect him.
so it appears that gods love is a lottery. If that does indeed exist.
I have so much quiet anger, compressed and seething. I get god or whoever didn’t intervene when I was being raped, but where is he/it now?