Just a toy

Just a toy
T

Texan

I look back in my life and I try to make sense of my experiences. But for too long the excuse that they were just kids does not do.
I was sexually abused as a child from the time that I can remember till I was 12. Mostly by my two older sister, but I was also sexually abused by my brother. I was the youngest of five. I thought that this was a normal family than, little did I know. I enjoyed the way that it made me feel to be with my sisters. I was too young to know what was going on was wrong. My parents were not happy, they had their own problems, alcohal, affairs. I am 51 now, I have been in and out of hospital, had therepy many times and here I am again at what feels like the beginning again. I love women, way too much. But I do not know what a relationship is suppose to be like, I cheat, I will only lie to get sex but what is that!! My present wife has come to the conclusion that I have an addiction for sex and I think that she is correct. But what to do??
 
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Hey Texan,

Have you considered SAA meetings (Sex Addicts Anonymous)?

What are SAA Meetings?

A Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting consists of a group of two or more individuals who - using the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of SAA - meet together regularly for the purpose of recovering from their compulsive sexual behavior. A SAA meeting is a safe place. It is a gathering of equals who keep confidences, refrain from judgement, and who support one another through sharing their experience, strength and hope in seeking the common goal of recovering from sexual addiction.

What are the requirements for membership in SAA? Only the desire to recover from their compulsive sexual behavior. There are no other requirements and no members dues or fees other than voluntary contributions.

http://saa-recovery.org/mlist1.htm#Canada_BritishColumbia
 
Texan,

Sexual addiction for csa survivors is a pretty common thing so you are not alone. I too suffer sexual addictionsissues.
Some church's have Celebrate Recovery minstry where the help each other with addictions. and alot of them have groups for men dealing with sexual addictions. I don't know if they have any in B.C. Canada but you can check the internet.

Good Luck

Mike
 
I also have a problem and just went to my first SAA meeting. The religious part really was not for me but I do plan on going back. I do know how you feel. I deal with the same types of things.
 
Hello Northman:

Welcome to our support site. Glad that you found us. Why don't you come up north (to the top of the board) and introduce yourself? I think that you will find us to be a supportive and understanding bunch of guys. We are all here trying to work together toward finding our freedom.

Hope that we can be of some help to you too,

Mark
 
Hi Texan. I'm new here and was struck by your post. I'm a recovering sex addict, but was never treated for that reason. Through my own interests I found Zen Buddhism to be a big help in letting go of desires, but any spiritual journey may lead to that end as well. I started seeing a pattern in my thoughts recently, after getting through the worst of my csa memories, which revealed to me that I've conditioned myself to respond to emotionally stressful situations by escaping into sexual thoughts and behavior. Once I became aware that I was subconsciously using sex as a crutch, my thought patterns began changing.

Don't be afraid to search yourself, know yourself and trust yourself. The answers are inside and a part of you knows the right way to live.

Peace and best wishes.
 
I will in the future. I just need time to figure out how to put things into words.
 
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