just a post

[markgreyblue]

i kind of want to reach out -

i kind of am loathe to wallow in my own pity -

i kind of know what i am upset about -

the repercussions of what was done -

but i am still hopeful - i think actually at just being able to get beyong the 'bummed out' part -

and start to say - ok - but i think it's getting better - maybe a good sign -

i just went to set up a date over email -

when the man i met last night - who seemed a nice enough guy - replied -
he wrote his initial - 'p' - but i had written his full name earlier - 'patrick' -

but after just having talked to my friend paul -

when patrick wrote -p-
and i had just emailed paul too -

i replied - 'paul' - uggg -

so - i am pretty sure that's a wrap there!

also - i had goofed in a big way last night after talking with this guy - so twice now -

and he must think i am on drugs -

but i think it is just all the crap

that's washing away -

i didn't know if he was right for me -

i suppose now i know - and in all of it -
it's maybe not the time for it -

?

who knows...

m -

bummed but hopeful,

 

[markgreyblue]

i guess it's good too that i am able to 'forgive'
myself so to speak - and not
beat myself to a pulp for not being

'the right kind of person'

as it was put so many times -

by - ....you know who.

he's a piece of shit -

i am simply cute a foibulous!


lol!

 

[markgreyblue]

i am gonna make myself a t-shirt!

foibles - foibulous!

lol


MGB!

 

[markgreyblue]

actually it coudl sound a pejorative self attitude - so i will keep the 'cute' mention too.

whatever -

 

[roadrunner]

Mark,

I like the idea of being "foibulous". You have a great sense of humor, even in the face of adversity.

Much love,
Larry

 

[markgreyblue]

thanks Larry!

 

[Steven Heath]

mark you are absolutely foibulous......ab foib....as it were
steve

 

[markgreyblue]

thanks guys.

 

[roadrunner]

You are moist woilciome Mark.

Muiost loive,
Loirry

(where's that woine boittle?)