Job insecurity issues

[Forgive7777]

I feel like im the only one in the jobsite that isn't normal in every job I ever been at i see all the other man confident been in company for many yrs and here I am new my 100th job most likely it's not even my traumas that made me like this it's who I would of been even if there was no abuse in my life. Every job I've been at I get laid off can't hold any job more then 1 yr since I started working age 17yrs old im 42 now ... I don't understand it and wish I had this confident and figure out what I been doing wrong the whole time ... This other man seem to have this work ethic come naturally and I feel like I got to fake it ....Just to be laid off from another job.. Had any other survivor had this problem? I mean I make ends meet i live on my own and have a great career as an electrician but I can't last in any job site more then a few months 7 months being the longest

 

[nerograves]

I feel like im the only one in the jobsite that isn't normal in every job I ever been at i see all the other man confident been in company for many yrs and here I am new my 100th job most likely it's not even my traumas that made me like this it's who I would of been even if there was no abuse in my life. Every job I've been at I get laid off can't hold any job more then 1 yr since I started working age 17yrs old im 42 now ... I don't understand it and wish I had this confident and figure out what I been doing wrong the whole time ... This other man seem to have this work ethic come naturally and I feel like I got to fake it ....Just to be laid off from another job.. Had any other survivor had this problem? I mean I make ends meet i live on my own and have a great career as an electrician but I can't last in any job site more then a few months 7 months being the longest

I really relate to what you’re saying about feeling like the odd one out at work. I’ve dealt with that same, feeling like everyone else naturally belongs or knows what they’re doing while I’m just trying to keep up. I’ve switched jobs a few times too when stress or overwhelm got to me, even though I usually managed to meet expectations and hit my goals. The one place I stayed longest was a job where the boss trusted us to manage our own hours and didn’t micromanage. I was an analyst. I think that freedom made a big difference. It helped me see that it’s about the person-environment fit and feeling safe enough to do our best without constant pressure, not about lacking work ethic or ability.

You’re not alone in this. I think a lot of us survivors carry self-doubt from the past, and it shows up at work as feeling like we don’t belong. But the fact that you keep getting work and supporting yourself says a lot about your resilience and professional skills, even if it doesn’t feel that way at the time.

 

[Forgive7777]

I really relate to what you’re saying about feeling like the odd one out at work. I’ve dealt with that same, feeling like everyone else naturally belongs or knows what they’re doing while I’m just trying to keep up. I’ve switched jobs a few times too when stress or overwhelm got to me, even though I usually managed to meet expectations and hit my goals. The one place I stayed longest was a job where the boss trusted us to manage our own hours and didn’t micromanage. I was an analyst. I think that freedom made a big difference. It helped me see that it’s about the person-environment fit and feeling safe enough to do our best without constant pressure, not about lacking work ethic or ability.

You’re not alone in this. I think a lot of us survivors carry self-doubt from the past, and it shows up at work as feeling like we don’t belong. But the fact that you keep getting work and supporting yourself says a lot about your resilience and professional skills, even if it doesn’t feel that way at the time.

Thanks Nero means alot that you responded with this .. Made my day bro.

 

[nerograves]

Thanks Nero means alot that you responded with this .. Made my day bro.

Sure man, I'm glad you found it helpful.

 

[Georgie]

Have you been told or asked why you are laid off so often? Electricians are in great demand.

 

[smc1972]

I feel like im the only one in the jobsite that isn't normal in every job I ever been at i see all the other man confident

I have always felt that way about myself. That i am just not good enough or will fail. While i have had a good career in the same industry most my life. Have advanced up over the years though i have been with 5 companies. I am told I have done great for myself yet i do not feel it in me.

I think our confidence was taking away at a young age due to the trauma. I remember feeling the same in school as i was growing up. Not smart, not athletic, not good at making frineds etc. I had wondered why lol my life.

I do not know your story but i will share what my T told me. “You went through severe even horrific trauma, survived and have am respected in my company and thrived. Others around you see it in you, you need to start seeing it in yourself.” Hard pill to swallow but she is right. Still am not there but will get there. I think this holds true for you. You are electrician and as Georgie wrote that is high demand field. You cant be a slouch or not smart enough because your job is one that is not easy and the training is to the easy. You have also survived something that really impacts a person form a young age.

We are the best at criticizing ourselves or hold our self to some impossible standard. It has taking me time to get better in not doing that. Not sure if you have a T or not and even if you don’t. There is a lot to learn from others and also some good books you can learn amount here also.

Just know it is not just you in how you feel.

 

[Youngtrumpet]

I don't understand it and wish I had this confident and figure out what I been doing wrong the whole time

The one place I stayed longest was a job where the boss trusted us to manage our own hours and didn’t micromanage.

I think one point is we were controlled, manipulated and forced as a child. In the workplace those attributes can be triggering. Work and life in general requires us to have general restraint in order to be able to fit into this world. But I find at the workplace if I have a boss that is particularly 'bossy' - all my childhood bells go off and I don't act like an adult. I go back into those childhood methods.

 

[Forgive7777]

I have always felt that way about myself. That i am just not good enough or will fail. While i have had a good career in the same industry most my life. Have advanced up over the years though i have been with 5 companies. I am told I have done great for myself yet i do not feel it in me.

I think our confidence was taking away at a young age due to the trauma. I remember feeling the same in school as i was growing up. Not smart, not athletic, not good at making frineds etc. I had wondered why lol my life.

I do not know your story but i will share what my T told me. “You went through severe even horrific trauma, survived and have am respected in my company and thrived. Others around you see it in you, you need to start seeing it in yourself.” Hard pill to swallow but she is right. Still am not there but will get there. I think this holds true for you. You are electrician and as Georgie wrote that is high demand field. You cant be a slouch or not smart enough because your job is one that is not easy and the training is to the easy. You have also survived something that really impacts a person form a young age.

We are the best at criticizing ourselves or hold our self to some impossible standard. It has taking me time to get better in not doing that. Not sure if you have a T or not and even if you don’t. There is a lot to learn from others and also some good books you can learn amount here also.

Just know it is not just you in how you feel.

Thanks brother means alot thst you took time to respond... I always feel like I got to make co workers gain there trust and become friendly wich comes out as im trying to hard or talk to much..
And yes it's are trauma

 

[Forgive7777]

I think one point is we were controlled, manipulated and forced as a child. In the workplace those attributes can be triggering. Work and life in general requires us to have general restraint in order to be able to fit into this world. But I find at the workplace if I have a boss that is particularly 'bossy' - all my childhood bells go off and I don't act like an adult. I go back into those childhood methods.

Makes alot of sense... And yes that is correct that are minds where abused and we can't sometimes adapt to how serious work can be and take it as a guard up against others who are bossy... making seem like we are going against authority to not break or give in becouse we where taking advantage of ... Thanks for that insight