jail
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jail
- Thread starterTrevor
- Start date
roadrunner
Registrant
Trev,
Your stepsister quite understandably has a lot of heavy and conflicting feelings about this. She wants you to get the help you need, but she doesn't want to see her Dad and brother get into deep trouble. What she doesn't appreciate right now is that what was done to you is a terrible crime and that people who do this have to be exposed and held accountable for it.
However this goes, there is nothing she can do to "straighten it all out". Does she expect that there is something she can say or do that will make all this "okay" somehow? Again, she is speaking from the position of someone caught in the middle.
Much love,
Larry
Your stepsister quite understandably has a lot of heavy and conflicting feelings about this. She wants you to get the help you need, but she doesn't want to see her Dad and brother get into deep trouble. What she doesn't appreciate right now is that what was done to you is a terrible crime and that people who do this have to be exposed and held accountable for it.
However this goes, there is nothing she can do to "straighten it all out". Does she expect that there is something she can say or do that will make all this "okay" somehow? Again, she is speaking from the position of someone caught in the middle.
Much love,
Larry
roadrunner
Registrant
Trev,
I bet you do. But her father and brother are abusers of children and it may well be that there were others before you. Most abusers molest multiple kids, and some are known to have abused hundreds and perhaps more. That's why it is so important that they be stopped.
That's not to say that your case isn't enough reason by itself. It is! If your abusers are allowed to just walk away, then the message to you and other boys is that your feelings and your body - and you as Trevor - aren't important. The message is that adults and older teens can just help themselves when and wherever they want. Why? Because they are bigger. Because they need to "get off". Because they need the sick "thrill" of making a kid yield the last thing he would ever want to give to them - his body for their sexual amusement.
Sorry if this sounds harsh bro. But this is the reality we are talking about, and this is why abuse is such a catastrophe for the boy who is used like this.
Much love,
Larry
I bet you do. But her father and brother are abusers of children and it may well be that there were others before you. Most abusers molest multiple kids, and some are known to have abused hundreds and perhaps more. That's why it is so important that they be stopped.
That's not to say that your case isn't enough reason by itself. It is! If your abusers are allowed to just walk away, then the message to you and other boys is that your feelings and your body - and you as Trevor - aren't important. The message is that adults and older teens can just help themselves when and wherever they want. Why? Because they are bigger. Because they need to "get off". Because they need the sick "thrill" of making a kid yield the last thing he would ever want to give to them - his body for their sexual amusement.
Sorry if this sounds harsh bro. But this is the reality we are talking about, and this is why abuse is such a catastrophe for the boy who is used like this.
Much love,
Larry
roadrunner
Registrant
Trev,
I am quite sure she doesn't. That's what is making this so difficult for her. Just the fact that she thinks she can do "straighten it all out" shows she hasn't a clue.
I'm not saying that to judge her. There really is no way she COULD know.
Much love,
Larry
I am quite sure she doesn't. That's what is making this so difficult for her. Just the fact that she thinks she can do "straighten it all out" shows she hasn't a clue.
I'm not saying that to judge her. There really is no way she COULD know.
Much love,
Larry
roadrunner
Registrant
Trev,
How old is this stepsister and how close are you to her? Do you have other safe adults you can talk to?
I ask because your stepsister - as you can imagine - is between a rock and a hard place here. It may be difficult for her to see what needs to be done.
Much love,
Larry
How old is this stepsister and how close are you to her? Do you have other safe adults you can talk to?
I ask because your stepsister - as you can imagine - is between a rock and a hard place here. It may be difficult for her to see what needs to be done.
Much love,
Larry
roadrunner
Registrant
Trev,
Aha. This makes a LOT of difference. Can you sit down with her and her husband and talk to them together? It will be difficult, I know. But what you ABSOLUTELY need right now is real support where you are and a safe place to live.
Much love,
Larry
Aha. This makes a LOT of difference. Can you sit down with her and her husband and talk to them together? It will be difficult, I know. But what you ABSOLUTELY need right now is real support where you are and a safe place to live.
Much love,
Larry
roadrunner
Registrant
Trev,
Okay. What is it you disagree with?
L.
Okay. What is it you disagree with?
L.
roadrunner
Registrant
Trev,
Okay, gotcha. Well, if you aren't ready or you feel it wouldn't get you anywhere, then I see what you mean. But real local support - someone to talk to face-to-face and ask for help - is what every survivor needs.
Maybe this idea doesn't look so great now, but stick it in your back pocket for later.
Much love,
Larry
Okay, gotcha. Well, if you aren't ready or you feel it wouldn't get you anywhere, then I see what you mean. But real local support - someone to talk to face-to-face and ask for help - is what every survivor needs.
Maybe this idea doesn't look so great now, but stick it in your back pocket for later.
Much love,
Larry
when i try an talk to her about it she
just gets all upset and then just wants to blow
it off like im making a big deal out of it or
like it wasnt as bad as i make it sound
or im just being to dramamtic an i know its
cuz she dont want to think her fathr or brotr
can do things like they did eithr that or
they did stuff to her to and she cant deal
with it. whatever. i cant talk to her husband
brad. hes nice enuff be as far as hes
concerned im just living there till im 18
and dont care about anything i haft to say
so long as i do my chores and dont upset
my stepsister. and me and him dont talk
much anyways. he hit me once when me and him
got in a bad fite and since then ive just
stayed away from him pretty much.
so i think it must be me. cuz it seems like
the people around me are only around me cuz
they hafto be and they have no problem
with hurting me. i dont know.
just gets all upset and then just wants to blow
it off like im making a big deal out of it or
like it wasnt as bad as i make it sound
or im just being to dramamtic an i know its
cuz she dont want to think her fathr or brotr
can do things like they did eithr that or
they did stuff to her to and she cant deal
with it. whatever. i cant talk to her husband
brad. hes nice enuff be as far as hes
concerned im just living there till im 18
and dont care about anything i haft to say
so long as i do my chores and dont upset
my stepsister. and me and him dont talk
much anyways. he hit me once when me and him
got in a bad fite and since then ive just
stayed away from him pretty much.
so i think it must be me. cuz it seems like
the people around me are only around me cuz
they hafto be and they have no problem
with hurting me. i dont know.
roadrunner
Registrant
Trev,
No adult has the right to lay a hand on you, no matter how pissed he is. That's not just a matter of morality, it's the LAW!
That said, I can see that all this is an extremely high tension situation, and everyone is trying to learn how to relate and cope with it. There have to be clear boundaries, yes, but it must be very confusing and stressful for both Sarah and Brad.
But again, please don't blame yourself. You are the one who needs support and understanding.
Much love,
Larry
No adult has the right to lay a hand on you, no matter how pissed he is. That's not just a matter of morality, it's the LAW!
That said, I can see that all this is an extremely high tension situation, and everyone is trying to learn how to relate and cope with it. There have to be clear boundaries, yes, but it must be very confusing and stressful for both Sarah and Brad.
But again, please don't blame yourself. You are the one who needs support and understanding.
Much love,
Larry