It's my Birthday and the one thing I want..

It's my Birthday and the one thing I want..
L

LupinIII

Registrant
..I can't have and even if I could have it I couldn't take it...and of course that is my teenage years and twenties back..I want to be able to finish school without panice or date a girl because we like each other not just because she paid attention to me and my self-esteem was stoked..I want to be able to have made those career choices that I almost made, but chickened out of due to anxiety and low self-worth..but of course if I have those things I wouldn't be where I am now..and if I am not here I do not have my kids...so...even if I did have that choice, via magic, I could not take it fo it would not be worth the loss of my children...

..and yet...I hang on to it..unable to resolve my longing...and wind up in a hospital with chest pains one day prior to my birthday...and now depression...my mother broke me...she broke me...and my life was robbed from me and it is really reallly hard to get it back...I know I need to resolve my past or I will be holding on to my missed teens and twenties for the rest of my life...and the rest of my life will slip me by..but I feel so hollow...how do I resolve this? how do I move on?

so far i have yet to encounter a therapist i am comfortable with or felt a working connection to..i have avoided my alanon group for three weeks now...and i am just going downhill fast...plus turning 33 today didn't help..god i feel lost...
 
Lupin,
Happy birthday!!!!!!
I know life seems daunting and hopeless, but their is always hope. I hope you can find hope, and allow it to help you over your painful past. My best wishes and prayers go out to you!
Casey
 
Happy Birthday. Life only gets better
 
Lupin,

Life DOES get better. Everyone here is proof of that.

Another year that you're alive, despite what's been done to you, that's to be celebrated. I am very glad you're here and very glad you've seen another birthday.

This week I wasn't sure I was going to see today. I did. You will see more days and better days too.

Happy birthday, my friend. I'm glad for you being here for it. :)

Peace and love,

Scot
 
Lupin,

Happy Birthday Bro!

I know the feelings you are talking about, but as Scot says, you are here. And that's something to celebrate!

Treat yourself well today.

Me? I may be posting something similar, who knows. My birthday is Monday, and I'll be 47 :eek: !

Marc
 
Lupin,

Happy Birthday!

You can't get the past back, but no one can take your future now. It's yours, and you're making the "additions to your past" with your choices and actions every day.

I noticed when I stayed away from my meetings, things seemed worse than before. I need to strike some happy medium between being there and being in my "real life" with my family, but going to meetings does help me put things into perspective.

I hope you have a good birthday and many better days following it.

Thanks,

Joe
 
Happy belated Birthday,

Life lies within today and the future. It will be what you will make of it. You have the strength and desire to make it good, it will be good.

Take care and enjoy,
Bill
 
Thanks. I decided to do something great for my birthday and purchased a website. My website is for "big kidz", people who are 25+ that enjoy games, movies and other inner-child activities. The basic portion of it will be up in a few days and I am very excited.

I appreciate the love and support that is given here.
 
Lupin,

I am sorry that your birthday was not such a strong, positive thing for you. But perhaps it can be a 'rebirth' day. A day that you are already on the trail of regaining your life, and starting again. A day that your life, it is yours again, and not belonging to the past. I hope you can gift yourself with that. I wish you good luck.

leosha
 
Lupin
Life begins at 40, or so they say ?

It's not so bad at 50 either, have a great time with your web site and be sure to tell us all about it, we all need somewhere to go and play.

Dave :D
 
Lupin, it is the anxiety that bothers me the most. I get some help from medicines. A book I read was a big help to. I can't remember the exact title. I think it was something like: Hope and Helath for your Nerves. The author is Claire Weekes, and Australian psychiatrist who died many years ago.

I wish you lots of serenity.

Bob
 
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