It's been over 2 years and still

It's been over 2 years and still
MrDon

MrDon

Registrant
Last night for some reason all I could think about was my mom. It's been over two years since she left this world and I keep wishing I could just hear her voice one more time, that I could sit down and talk to her just one more time, that I could just see her one more time. I so badly wish I had a picture of her, but my family won't cooperate with that so the only thing I have is the memory of her in my mind.

I still hate the fact that it was my father who survived the car accident. He doesn't deserve to live and probably there is a part of me that blames him for what happened to my mom. Of course he isn't worth enough in this world to really care about anyway.

And there are so many unanswered questions that will go on being unanswered. Gawd, how I so badly want to just see her one more time.

I don't really know why this is coming up right now, but it really hit me last night again.

Thanks for listening... I know there isn't much anyone can do... I just needed to say this.

Don
 
Don,

Funny you should mention this today. I dreamt of my mother this weekend, and while I'm very embittered by what took her (cancer), I know she's watching over me and, if she had known about my abuse, would've kicked the SOB from one side of the state to the next (her words during a "spiritual conversation" we had :D ).

Don, your mom's with you still. I know it's not the same as her being here physically, but I truly believe those who went before us (and were good people) are with us always.

I hope this helps somewhat. I'm thinking about you.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
Thank you for making this post. It's not like I needed the reminder, but it made an impact. My father is diseased. My mother is still alive and has a birthday this week. She is a very good hearted and special person. She has been completely understanding and helpfull with what I am going through. I try to show her how much I appreciate it, but sometimes it's difficult. After reading this, I'm going to try even harder.
 
Brian,
I know.... but part of me really wants her so much right now.. and I'm just not sure why it is this strong. Nothing that I can point to that set this off.. and yes one day I will be with her. Thanks... it is hard though.. in many ways.

Scot,
I would love to have one of those conversations with her and maybe I will get fortunate to have one. I think my mom was scared of the same monster I was, otherwise she would have kicked his butt!

Mike,
My father kept me away from the family and had them brainwashed. He controlled everything and for that I doubt I could ever forgive him. For he took something away from me that can not be replaced. I wish I had only been strong enough a few years ago to stand up to the FK and tell him to get lost! It still angers me to this day and if there is any part of my life that I would love to get back, it would be the part with my mother. Screw the rest of my life as it pales in comparison to being cut off from my mom.


I know, I can only keep going forward, but man oh man, does it hurt some days... and I know there isn't much that I can do to stop that hurt. It is part of me because she was such a part of me. There is just so much of what I do in my every day life that I see her being part of it. I am so much like her in so many ways. While that is good, it is a constant reminder as well.

Don
 
Mr Don,
I know it's hard to lose someone. Though I've never lost anyone close to me, I was there when my mom lost her dad (of cancer) and she was very sad and upset about it. (I never knew my grandfather well but I remember being sad too.)
I don't really know what I can say and I don't think I can offer much advice, but I'm here to listen if you want to talk and I'll be thinking about you.
I hope you feel better soon.
Nao
 
I didn't mean that you should forgive him. What my father did wasn't that bad. I do very well forgiving most anybody for anything, but,
right now, I know of two people that I will never forgive. God is all forgiving. I am not God.
 
I often wonder why people go before their time. I guess you may never know why but I believe that they are in a better place.

I know how you feel about not having a picture. My ex partner passed away a week ago and I had nothing to remember him by. Luckly they had post a picture of him in his death notice which I was able to save but that all I have.

Take care of yourself, your mom is watching over you and I am sure she is so proud of you.
Gus
 
Mike,
Sorry, didn't mean for my response to come out the way it didn't. Don't worry, I didn't see anything wrong with what you said to me and do appreciate your comments. My anger is definately directed at my father (or that was my intent at least). Sorry for the confusion there.
 
(((((Don))))))

I am very sorry of all that. I can relate to how you feel maybe, some. My brother, he has been gone for twenty years, and sometime I still miss him so much my body hurts. And I also feel so much anger that my father is still alive also. I do not feel he deserves it at all. But, then again, he does not deserve my energy to even hate him.

I am sorry for the loss of someone so special to you. I hope that you hold her in your heart and life for always.

Leosha
 
Don -

don't know if this helps, but - it's been nearly four years since my mother died of cancer. I do have pictures of her at various ages & in different locations. Do you know what, I don't look at them very often at all - I tend to look at the memories in my head because they are like movies, rather than stills. Keep the pictures fresh in your mind if you can.

Best wishes ...Rik
 
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