Its all my fault! T
reality2k4
Registrant
Everything was my fault when a kid, he got picked on when anything happened, at school, but worse, at home.
At first I tried to fight but got nowhere, eventually he just gave up and took it, which meant it got worse.
I turned the circle at school as a fourteen year old, the bullies would not go near me, and I stopped them picking on others, because these bullies were just cowards.
At home it was different because siblings get to know how to blame ste for anything going wrong.
It got that way he was starting to do things wrong like he didnt know what was going on.
I ran away when I could, got told off or spanked for that too.
No wonder I ran away, was scared to go home because I would be thinking WTF have I done wrong now!
I eventually broke this cycle.
My father and mother thought I must have been going with a man or something, when I just wanted to be alone and keep him safe.
It was cool to find that I had not wet the bed, but at school I would be thinking.
What if I was wrong, and I did wet it!
Being alone gave me the space I needed to just try and figure it all out, it was my escape from the inescapable.
I begged my father to move elsewhere in case his the perp who followed me got me, I never told my dad about that one, the guy who always turned up.
The first perp had threatened me and my family, so I was hairless at home, nobody even knew.
If I mixed with friends in my neighbourhood my radar was on full alert in case perp 2 showed up.
He sometimes did, and a crowd of kids would not put him off, but I did when I threatened him with the police, an empty threat.
I guess we all have pretty much the same feelings of somehow never feeling safe in aloneness, and desperate not to tell in case nobody listens.
Anybody else felt this way, it can still hurt today, as it puts boundaries in the way of friendships,
ste
At first I tried to fight but got nowhere, eventually he just gave up and took it, which meant it got worse.
I turned the circle at school as a fourteen year old, the bullies would not go near me, and I stopped them picking on others, because these bullies were just cowards.
At home it was different because siblings get to know how to blame ste for anything going wrong.
It got that way he was starting to do things wrong like he didnt know what was going on.
I ran away when I could, got told off or spanked for that too.
No wonder I ran away, was scared to go home because I would be thinking WTF have I done wrong now!
I eventually broke this cycle.
My father and mother thought I must have been going with a man or something, when I just wanted to be alone and keep him safe.
It was cool to find that I had not wet the bed, but at school I would be thinking.
What if I was wrong, and I did wet it!
Being alone gave me the space I needed to just try and figure it all out, it was my escape from the inescapable.
I begged my father to move elsewhere in case his the perp who followed me got me, I never told my dad about that one, the guy who always turned up.
The first perp had threatened me and my family, so I was hairless at home, nobody even knew.
If I mixed with friends in my neighbourhood my radar was on full alert in case perp 2 showed up.
He sometimes did, and a crowd of kids would not put him off, but I did when I threatened him with the police, an empty threat.
I guess we all have pretty much the same feelings of somehow never feeling safe in aloneness, and desperate not to tell in case nobody listens.
Anybody else felt this way, it can still hurt today, as it puts boundaries in the way of friendships,
ste