It was my father
Lost looking up
New Registrant
Struggling with detailed memories about my father using me for his sexual pleasure. How long do I have to deal with the pain? The more I remember the worse it gets.
It was my father
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roadrunner
Registrant
Lost,
You refer to how things just keep getting worse, but that's because as we begin to let ourselves feel again and deal honestly with what happened to us, that opens the gates to thinking about a lot of things that we have long suppressed. We "let in" these new feelings and memories as we are better able to deal with them, and though all that hurts like hell, the fact that we are able to face those feelings is itself a step forward.
Recovery is a long and complicated path, my friend, and we are all different in how we face things and how long it takes. But for now the best thing you can do is exactly what you are doing here: facing your issues, talking about them, and asking the questions you have.
It does get better bro, lots better. Just hang in there and keep it real.
Much love,
Larry
There's a classic question for which we would all like to have an answer.
You refer to how things just keep getting worse, but that's because as we begin to let ourselves feel again and deal honestly with what happened to us, that opens the gates to thinking about a lot of things that we have long suppressed. We "let in" these new feelings and memories as we are better able to deal with them, and though all that hurts like hell, the fact that we are able to face those feelings is itself a step forward.
Recovery is a long and complicated path, my friend, and we are all different in how we face things and how long it takes. But for now the best thing you can do is exactly what you are doing here: facing your issues, talking about them, and asking the questions you have.
It does get better bro, lots better. Just hang in there and keep it real.
Much love,
Larry
i'm not sure it ever goes completely away. facing it allows you to feel what you need to, and with time it gets less painful. in the end, i feel i am in a pretty good place, but i can't say it is completely gone even now. the abuse has just affected so many parts of my life, i dont think i will ever be rid of it. i am not sure it is even possible, but i know this, there is life after abuse, and it can be very happy and fulfilling.
roadrunner
Registrant
TNuss,
Phoster raises an important question that is implicit in what you ask: How does all this end?
I wondered that a lot, and now I think I know. Recovery isn't a goal; it's not something we "aim" for with the idea that at some point we are all finished and that's it. The memories of abuse will always be there, just as a soldier's memories of his wartime experiences are always there.
Recovery is a path, a matter of attitudes and learning to cope with a lot of difficult and hurtful feelings. And what we get in the end is peace. We are able to lead a joyful and fulfilling live without the abuse memories wrecking everything and ostructing us all the time.
Hope this helps.
Much love,
Larry
Phoster raises an important question that is implicit in what you ask: How does all this end?
I wondered that a lot, and now I think I know. Recovery isn't a goal; it's not something we "aim" for with the idea that at some point we are all finished and that's it. The memories of abuse will always be there, just as a soldier's memories of his wartime experiences are always there.
Recovery is a path, a matter of attitudes and learning to cope with a lot of difficult and hurtful feelings. And what we get in the end is peace. We are able to lead a joyful and fulfilling live without the abuse memories wrecking everything and ostructing us all the time.
Hope this helps.
Much love,
Larry
instead of looking for a point or a target, i think we need to see recovery as a way of life. it is something we keep doing, just as we keep living. it is ongoing and forever. you may get to the point where you dont need therapy, and you dont need this place, and where you learn to deal with what's left alone, but i dont think you ever reach the end.
TNuss
Registrant
Thought I have reached a level of understanding of why my mother did what she did to me, it does not resolve the hurtful feelings she has caused me in my life. I'm able to move beyond those feelings so I can look for inter peace with what happened to me, not just not her hands but those of the others.