Is this common

Is this common
L

LostnHell

Registrant
At ession with T the other day. As I was relating various incidences I found myself getting sexually excited. To the point where I just had an impulse to masturbate right then and there. I'm almost afraid to speak about these things anymore because of the feelings I get.

Anyone experience something similar ?

I hope this isn't an inappropriate question.
 
Yes, this happened to me a while back as well.

I think men react to sexual talk in a 'basic' way, and if it's the first time you've talked about your abuse in some detail then the connections in the brain see "SEX" and send a message out to the body parts that react.

I bet that the more you talk to your therapist the less it will happen. The whole abusive thing will be something that will become placed in it's proper perspective, which wont be an erotic one.

Dave
 
Me too. When it happened, I talked about it immediately and that helped put it in perspective - break that association, and the ways it carried over to my sexuality in general.

I mean, if I like sex act "A", but that happened during the abuse, then I avoided or barely endured that sex act because of the association.

It was very embarassing to say, almost humiliating, but it also pissed me off, big time, that I had to deal with more of this crap dumped on me by some sorry excuse for a human being.

Talking about it right away was a big step forward.
 
It happens to me too. I don't think it is at all unusual. I've told my therapist that it happens, she doesn't think it's odd. Sad thing is, it adds to the shame and humiliation I've been trying to rid myself of for so long.

I think the urge to masturbate might also be an extension of being in a vulnerable, intimate situation and your reactions to talking about sexual acts. Talk to your therapist, tell him or her what happens so that you can both be prepared to deal with the conversations in an appropriate manner when they come up, and they should definitely keep coming up. Good luck - John
 
I find it interesting when you say it adds to the shame and humiliation that you've been trying to rid yourself of. It's so difficult to even seperate my sexuality from shame and humiliation. At this point I don't even see how they will ever happen for me.
 
It is possible for all things to change, keep that in mind. For most of us, these feelings and twisted ways of thinking took years to cultivate and perfect. They'll take some time to break down too.

The shame and humiliation don't belong to us, they belong to our abusers. It sounds so simple when we say it that way, on an intellectual level. But deep inside, where it's tough to reach, they can still play the same games in our heads. We have to keep digging till we get to that place and then take the time and effort to re-shape what was put there by someone else. Keep at it, one step at a time. I'm sure the rewards will pay-off big time. Peace - John
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top