Is it worth the effort?

Is it worth the effort?
D

deck

Registrant
Lately I find myself wondering this-is this worth the effort? is it just too late?

I am 43. I've dealt with other issues before trying to deal with this. That was probably a mistake. I worry that I will always be alone. There is a line from a song called "Fear is never Boring"- the line is: "Feeling good ain't being happy..." but if you don't feel happy and there is a big part of you that doubts if you ever will then why not "feel good"? or just numb?

I've never had any real skill-knowledge-ability-luck-whatever with women and find myself feeling tremendous amounts of shame, guilt and even terror when I start feeling attracted to a woman. If something does happen, I tend to feel just awful. I cann't explain this. People tend to like me, I'm a likable guy. A likable loser. It's not even being in relationship-it's believing that it might even be an option.

I wonder if trying is worth it? it took years to get so screwed up. Is it even fixable? why should any women really want to invest the time in me?

I'm rambling again...
 
i dunno deck - i like you -
i wouldn't say i like loosers

either -

i'd say - you haven't found the right lid to your pot -eh?

i dunno - i think i felt the need to be expert at dating - in sort of the fast lane way -

i mean - i wanted to learn about sex -and i did -

but now that i realize that the priority is to be more with a person than sex -
i realize too - that i think that - i think i have to be ok with myself

and not have the relationship make me ok with myself - you know?

i have learned that i know what is the priority - but the relatioshop will not be the deciding factor whether i like me or not or can deal -

peace deck - i think you are great!

mark
 
Deck,

This is a hard one to tackle but here it goes.

I think it is well worth it. You are still young in my opinion and I think with some help you can find the right one for you.

Professional help is the key, if you are not seeing someone on a professional level I suggest that you seek one. If you are seeing a professional skilled in male CSA then just keep going, it works in my humble opinion. Relationships are tricky especially with CSA lingering around in the background, intamacy is a tough one so it does take some time and hard work but it is worth it.

I hope this helps,
 
Deck
I am 43. I've dealt with other issues before trying to deal with this. That was probably a mistake
Click to expand...
I didn't start dealing with this until I was 52 and it is worth it for sure.You have a big head start on me.If you have been suessful in dealing with the other issues than it was not a mistake.

Professional help is the key to this for sure, Hope you have a T.

Is it even fixable? why should any women really want to invest the time in me?
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Because male survivors are truly great people.

Tom
 
The answer to your question is a resounding YES!

If you asked me six years ago if I thought there was a chance I could be happy I would have told you there was no way and thankfully I've found the person I was meant to be.

As for being too late it is NEVER too late. There was a guy at my first Weekend of Recovery who was somewhere around his seventies who was very excited that he could still find his happiness. By the end of the weekend he was laughing like a child.

Hope that helps!
 
YES.
 
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