Is it okay to be complacent

[Tryingtolive]

I ask this as a survivor.
Coming off a mental breakdown a little while ago.
Can non survivors be complacent?
Is it a bad thing to be complacent?
Do I have a reason to be complacent?
I’m currently working part time.
And I’m complacent with that.
Around my absuer.
Complacent with that as well.

I’ve read it’s ok to be complacent.
But also its a bad thing.
I’m in no danger.
I’ve talked to a therapist.
But since I have.
I just been complacent.

I hate taking risk.
Feeling uncomfortable.
New jobs.
Don’t care much about money.

I just seem to more focused on me.
My feelings
My health.
My mental.
And things have gradually gotten better.

No idea of a career.
Mind u I’m young.
Decent amount of money saved.
But I’m lacking a happiness to chase.
A goal.
A life.
A relationship.
All things we desperately chase.
But me I just go with it. Is it okay for me to be this way.

I have goals.
And most of them aren’t relatable to people my age.
Everyone wants money.
And I don’t pursue that.
I pursue a life of being happy.
Free.
Not tied up from work.
Just wanting to be complacent.

Also am I using my abuse to be some what lazy.
But when I think of lazy I’m not that all.
Cause of the issues I face.
Or am I just being a baby about it

 

[JamesM]

D

 

[dark empathy]

@Ttl, why do you describe your feelings of not wanting to chase after money or material goods as being complacent.

We live in a society where competition is the norm. Everyone is told to have the best this, the most that, that relationships are things to be "chased" and goals are things to be "pursued" like some cave man hunter chasing down a deer.

One of the things about experiencing sa for me has always been how it left me struggling with myself, with that part of myself I called "Shadow" the part of myself that exemplified my own worthlessness.

this meant that I was able to see a lot of the things we are told as the lies they are. Good jobs do not go to the best or most talented people, money does not mean success, those people who simply exchange codes of social acceptance to be part of the group, who do the things "that men do" or "that middle class people do" or "that sports fans do" simply to belong to the group of people who do those things are simply highly evolved sheep.

this means I can be complacent about things like money and possessions and career and focus my efforts on the things that matter, love, healing and expression.

this is a lonely road to walk since most people, embedded as they are in the game of social goals and sygnals don't want to walk it with you, though when you find those few people who are walking along side you relationships with them can be much deeper, much richer and much more valuable.

For example, I did not "Pursue" a relationship with the amazing angel I'm married to, I was just amazingly lucky, and yet our relationship came through love and friendship and connection rather than all the sad little impossible rituals of "the dating game", it is an extremely rich and profound one.

So my question is, are you complacent, or do you just see the things that matter more clearly?

 

[Greg56]

This has been for the last several weeks a question that I have asked myself.

Money never did much for me...I usually made enough to live on and didn't worry about "making more".

Also, since I feel that I've made peace with myself and the abuse...I've been content. "Should" I be more happy? "Should" I more social? I don't know...but, I personally am good with how things are. That's something new for me.

One thing that I appreciate about myself is that I've always been more rather than less positive and trusting of people. Unless/until they "slapped me in the face". I feel that I've always been a good person, even when I didn't feel like I was. Even before the abuses, I remember I was this way. I've been wondering why this is. It would seem to me that I would/should be less trusting. But, this seems to be who I am and always have been. In the end I believe this is a good thing and something I would not not really want to change.

I feel that if you are content/complacent with who you are, there is no need in trying to be someone you are not. So if your question relates to this...I would say...be who and true to yourself. I believe we "should" strive to be good and feel good about ourselves. I don't believe in trying to be something we are not or anything more than who we are.

I hope this makes sense.

much love
Greg