Irrational Fears/Anxiety

Irrational Fears/Anxiety
S

Sinking

Registrant
I've been experiencing a huge amount of anxiety lately. It seems that my life-long defenses have broken down. They don't work anymore, maybe for short periods of time they do, but not for long. I know that some of the anxiety comes from what I know to be irrational fears. I have been having nightmares that, sort of, depict the abuse I went through but it goes so far as to me imagining a tall man (the abuser) standing over my bed. I actually wake myself up to be sure that it's a dream or my imagination. But then I'm afraid to close my eyes again. Needless to say, I've not been sleeping well which does nothing to help ease the anxiety. The perpetual knot in my stomach and the twinge in my chest seem to intensify every day. Have others out there experienced anything similar? Other than meds (I don't have a therapist, yet), what have you done to calm yourself down? I never could have dreamed, in a million years, how much it would hurt when I finally let my guard down. Right to the core of my soul, it burns.
 
THERE ARE SEVEARAL THINGS IVE DONE THAT HAVE SEEMED TO HELP1) ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL THE PAIN AND OR ANXIETY. ACCEPT YOURSELF FOR WHERE YOU ARE(HURTING) RATHER THAN TRYING TO FIGHT IT. AFTER SOME PERIOD OF ACCEPTANCE, TRY GIVING THE PAIN AN ALLOTTED AMOUNT OF TIME ie; I KNOW IM FEELING LIKE SHIT AND I'M GONNA ALLOW MYSELF TO FEEL THIS WAY FOR AN HOUR, TWO HOURS, 15 MINUTES-WHATEVER FEELS THE MOST REASONABLE AND I REALIZE THAT YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR ABILITY TO REASON IS NOT UP TO PAR WHILE YOUR HURTING SO BAD BUT JUST TRY IT- IT WORKS!! FIND SOMEONE THAT YOU CAN REALLY SHARE YOUR FEELINGS WITH. I JOINED A 12 STEP RECOVERY GROUP THAT WAS NOT JUST SET UP FOR SA SURVIVORS- IT INCLUDES EVERONE WITH EVERY PROBLEM- POSSIBLY SHARE YOUR PAIN WITH THE FACILITATOR UNTIL YOU GET A SPONSER. I CANT TELL YOU HOW GOOD IT FEELS TO UNBURDEN YOURSELF TO SOMEONE ELSE. A GOOD SAYING I HEARD ONE TIME IS "WE ARE ONLY AS SICK AS OUR SECRETS". I'M NOT IMPLYING THAT YOUR SICK BUT YOU GET THE GIST OF IT...LAST BUT NOT LEAST,ALLOW YOUR RECOVERY TO PROCEED AT ITS OWN PACE. ALTHOUGH WE'D LOVE TO HURRY IT UP AND JUST GET RID OF ALL THE HELL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH , SADLY ENOUGH, ITS JUST NOT SOMETHING WE CAN HURRY. YOU'VE ALREADY ENDURED-NOW TRY TO PERSEVERE. PEACE+++
 
Sinking
when I had sleep problems and awaoke from bad dreams I would get up, come downstairs and make a cup of tea ( the British cure for everything ! ) and read a novel or a magazine for about half hour.
Then I'd go back to bed with something other than the dream in my mind.

I still read at least one chapter of a novel right before I sleep, and it clears my mind. I can go straight from reading something distressing here on the site to sleep within half hour or so, without lying awake dwelling on something that's upset me.


I suppose I use reading to clear my mind, but I know that meditation and relaxation techniques can help as well.
I did start to learn the technique of masking severe pain by 'thought' some time ago, and had some small success, so using thought to relax must be possible.

Dave
 
Hey there... I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this lately. Know that I am right there with you.

I wish I had better advice, but to be honest, since I was young I have had similar experiences... man in the doorway, fear of the closet and being in bed in the dark, etc. and I have yet to find a "cure" for them. I don't think keeping the tv on a sleep timer counts. :)

I will encourage you to not label your fears "irrational" because it just sets you up to believe the lie that victims are crazy, making a big deal out of it, or otherwise acting "ridiculous." Your fears are based in trauma, and until we really face it and deal with it, they are not likely to go away on their own.

One thing that I have done in the past with my therapist was regression therapy and that helped a lot. I used to "see" different frightening images at night - she labeled them "night terrors" - and when we explored them in a trance, they presented themselves as parts of myself that needed my attention to help them heal. Not the same as the man in the doorway, but they still scared the hell out of me. I have yet to explore the man image. I vow to support your exploration of that image if you support me in mine!

-Sean
 
Sinking,

It sounds like Sean has some good ideas you can try with a T when you get one. And Dave's idea, tea :) , might work, too, if the caffeine doesn't bother you.
I never could have dreamed, in a million years, how much it would hurt when I finally let my guard down. Right to the core of my soul, it burns.
Click to expand...
I think you nailed it right there. I said as much to my T today, that I never realized how hard this is going to be, and I probably still don't realize how hard it will be.

But it's worth it. Going back to hell is out of the question. Stick with it. Personally, though I don't sleep all that well myself, I still use herbal tea at bedtime to try to help me relax. I guess it helps me sleep better than I would without it, and I don't need a prescription (or spam!) to get it.

Joe
 
Hi Sinking--

The thing that works by far the best for me is a combination of exhausting exercise (the best for me is my favorite 30 mile bike ride inthe hills outside town or a heavy day of skiing) and meditation. The first wipes out all your body's stored tension and sets you up for profoundly deep because absolutely necessary sleep, and the second cleanses the mind. One after the next (ideally with a long soak in a hot tub in between) really does the trick. At least it does for me.

Danny
 
The hard thing for me is when I panic, I go back to the bad times, in head, and sometimes even in body. So I guess what I would say is important thing is to try to keep yourself 'present' and remind yourself you are safe, however you can. Some people work better at that with having another person present, others, like me, it is scarier to have someone else around. Find what is comfortable to you. I wish you luck. It does get better (at least that is what I try to believe).

leosha
 
The panic and anxiety is terrible. The worst part for me is my mind going back to the bad things, and at times my body as well. Sometimes the fear of anxiety can make the anxiety and panic worse. You need to find out what helps you, it is different for everyone, some people like having people around, but for me, having people around makes it worse, just fnd what works best for you, and stick to it. I wish you good luck with this all.

Scott
 
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