Invisible Male Victims

Invisible Male Victims

Jacob S

Registrant
This comment I made in another forum about surviving r*pe was deleted because I'm not a woman.

As I have "firsthand experience with the issues being discussed" I think I have insight into the male vs. female predatory behavior being discussed. "Toxic masculinity" is indeed the issue, but part of the problem with toxic masculinity is that it teaches males that all sex is good sex as long as the male is the penetrator instead of the penetrated. If you look at court sentences, public opinion, movies, and the opinion of many people, a grown woman grooming and molesting a boy is considered much less serious of a crime.

There are not enough reliable statistics in our current culture to say whether women are less predatory, because men are conditioned to not admit that they felt uncomfortable or violated.

Society is more permissible of men being sleazy in public, definitely. But the other side of that very same coin is that society assumes males always want sex, which means that males who are the victims of female predators are not allowed to think of themselves as having their bodily autonomy be violated.
 
they may be too wounded to open their eyes and see other types of victims :(
 
There's no such thing as "toxic masculinity." There's gendered bad behavior. For every shitty thing a man does because he's learned that's what men do, there's an equal and opposite shitty thing a woman does because she's learned that's what women do. I guess we could call that "toxic femininity," but no one does and in fact if you try you'll learn quickly those are fighting words.

Guess which gender usually gets called out and blamed for their shit (even though they're just doing what their elders of both genders taught them to do). And guess which gender usually gets off completely because it's really society's fault and people of that gender are always wonderful.
 
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I'm sorry there have been social constructs that make it harder for men to feel their trauma is validated.

There are problems which society overlooks regarding female perpetrators, and that's got to change. In some circles that has started, there is a lot of work yet to be done.

We'll strive toward validation together.
 
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You be you, @Ceremony. It's incorrect and unfair terminology, at least until the day people are willing to admit that women are systematically shitty, too. But I know you were horribly treated by men, so you see men as horrible people. Including, if I may be bold, yourself.

Personally, I was mistreated by a woman, so I hope you grant me my own anger towards abusive women in the same way you grant yourself your anger towards men.

Also - maybe this, the Survivors of Female Abuse section, is the wrong section for you to post screeds about how horrible men are. There are plenty of more appropriate places for that - basically anywhere else in the forums.
 
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There's no such thing as "toxic masculinity." There's gendered bad behavior. For every shitty thing a man does because he's learned that's what men do, there's an equal and opposite shitty thing a woman does because she's learned that's what women do. I guess we could call that "toxic femininity," but no one does and in fact if you try you'll learn quickly those are fighting words.

Guess which gender usually gets called out and blamed for their shit (even though they're just doing what their elders of both genders taught them to do). And guess which gender usually gets off completely because it's really society's fault and people of that gender are always wonderful.

Thank you.
 
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