Introduction and my story - "Kal" - *trigger warnings*
intro - just joined today after watching "Leaving Neverland" documentary this weekend. Yes it triggered many things inside of me and knew it was time to work through more things - again.
I am currently in my mid-50s. Youngest of 3 kids (2 older sisters).
Parents separated, then divorced when I was 7 or 8. Stayed with my mom. Contact with dad was less and less until hardly any.
When I was a young man in college (age 20, but looked like 16 - late bloomer) a Methodist Minister at the church I was attending "took an interest" in me. I was flattered. Loved to get the attention from a man I very much admired. Apparently, he was actually a pedophile and liked teenage boys. He came to my home for a visit. Things lead to him touching me in places he shouldn't. I got him to stop and he left.
I eventually was able to confront him (a year or 2 later) through his church leadership, but he basically got a wrist-slap (he was near retirement age), and a mild warning to his local church that he needed to stay away from teens and children.
After college, I moved out of state. Started seeking therapy most of which from what happened in college, and the SSA I was experiencing (I had similar feelings since 7th grade). After therapy and reading different stories, I realized I was an abuse victim as a young child. Memories I had blocked out. Additional therapy helped me fill in the blanks. I also got confirmation that my own father had abused several of his younger siblings when they were children (he was the oldest of 6). The same method (forced oral) he used on them was what I also remember happening to me. This filled in the blanks - he was my abuser. More therapy has helped further, exposing the fact I was abused dozens of times by him when I was between 2 and 4 years of age.
Since then, I have attended survivor support groups and therapy. I have come a long way in my road to healing.
I have been married to a great woman for over 25 years and have 2 kids (boy and girl) - both in college. They all know my story and are all supportive.
SSA is still an issue, but less now. I have always had a fear and distrust of men as a result of my abuse. My healing journey has helped with that a lot. I am now heavily involved with and serve in the Men's Ministry in my church (non-denominational evangelical).
I support gun rights but refuse to own a gun for fear of suicide. (yeah, I battle depression off and on)
I tried to bring up the abuse to my mother, but she seemed pretty clueless. She knew about the abuse by my father towards his siblings but said she could never quite "wrap her head around it." I decided not to push the issue. Also, both she and my father were heavy drinkers at the time. I assume she had absolutely no idea what was happening. She then passed away a few years ago before I could bring up the subject again.
I am now at a place where I wish to reach out to other survivors via this forum to help me further along on this healing path.
*
NC-Survivor aka Καλλικρατης (call me "Kal")
I am currently in my mid-50s. Youngest of 3 kids (2 older sisters).
Parents separated, then divorced when I was 7 or 8. Stayed with my mom. Contact with dad was less and less until hardly any.
When I was a young man in college (age 20, but looked like 16 - late bloomer) a Methodist Minister at the church I was attending "took an interest" in me. I was flattered. Loved to get the attention from a man I very much admired. Apparently, he was actually a pedophile and liked teenage boys. He came to my home for a visit. Things lead to him touching me in places he shouldn't. I got him to stop and he left.
I eventually was able to confront him (a year or 2 later) through his church leadership, but he basically got a wrist-slap (he was near retirement age), and a mild warning to his local church that he needed to stay away from teens and children.
After college, I moved out of state. Started seeking therapy most of which from what happened in college, and the SSA I was experiencing (I had similar feelings since 7th grade). After therapy and reading different stories, I realized I was an abuse victim as a young child. Memories I had blocked out. Additional therapy helped me fill in the blanks. I also got confirmation that my own father had abused several of his younger siblings when they were children (he was the oldest of 6). The same method (forced oral) he used on them was what I also remember happening to me. This filled in the blanks - he was my abuser. More therapy has helped further, exposing the fact I was abused dozens of times by him when I was between 2 and 4 years of age.
Since then, I have attended survivor support groups and therapy. I have come a long way in my road to healing.
I have been married to a great woman for over 25 years and have 2 kids (boy and girl) - both in college. They all know my story and are all supportive.
SSA is still an issue, but less now. I have always had a fear and distrust of men as a result of my abuse. My healing journey has helped with that a lot. I am now heavily involved with and serve in the Men's Ministry in my church (non-denominational evangelical).
I support gun rights but refuse to own a gun for fear of suicide. (yeah, I battle depression off and on)
I tried to bring up the abuse to my mother, but she seemed pretty clueless. She knew about the abuse by my father towards his siblings but said she could never quite "wrap her head around it." I decided not to push the issue. Also, both she and my father were heavy drinkers at the time. I assume she had absolutely no idea what was happening. She then passed away a few years ago before I could bring up the subject again.
I am now at a place where I wish to reach out to other survivors via this forum to help me further along on this healing path.
*
NC-Survivor aka Καλλικρατης (call me "Kal")