Intimacy Issues

Intimacy Issues

Mommasboy73

Registrant
On the introduction forum I summarized my experiences I had with my mother starting when I was 28. My whole life I was always told how incest was supposed to be bad and abusive but, my experience was much different. I willingly embraced this relationship as well as my mother and, it ended up with us falling in love. I know how that must sound to most people in society but, matters of the heart can be very complicated.
We have since moved on but, I have experienced problems when it comes to intimacy with other women and even my wife. I find it difficult to maintain an erection during sex without thinking of my mother and I usually don't last more than a few minutes without risking losing my erection. This all stems from my past with my mother. I also find it difficult to get excited unless my wife performs the same acts with me that my mom and I used to do.
I know therapy would help but, there is no way for me to see a therapist without confessing to my wife about my past with my mom and some secrets are better left that way for the sake of everyone. Until I lose my mother or divorce I'm afraid therapy is out of the question. At least in person anyway.
 
Hello and welcome. I'm sorry that you're struggling with all the problems you've described. I can't imagine how complicated and confusing your emotional state must be. I won't judge or condemn the content of your past. What's important is that your experience is now having a negative impact on your relationship and mental/emotional health.

Unfortunately, I can't figure out from your post why you can't go to therapy without telling your wife the details of your past. I'm not saying that I don't believe you, just that I don't understand why you can't just say that some issues from your past have come up that you would like professional support with and that you will tell her more about them when you're ready? If the therapy helps you and you feel better, then your wife will certainly notice that in a positive way too, without having to know any details.

(on a side-note: just as an info in case it was an oversight: your other post that you are referring to is not in the "introduction" forum but in the "survivors' stories" forum. Posts there are locked and cannot be replied to. Just so you don't wonder why your other post doesn't get any replies.)

In the meantime, while this community doesn't replace therapy, it surely is a very supportive and in my (short) experience helpful place, so feel free to reach out here.

I wish you all the best.

(I hope my post doesn't come across as insensitive, as English is not my native language, I sometimes find it difficult to get the tone right.)
 
On the introduction forum I summarized my experiences I had with my mother starting when I was 28. My whole life I was always told how incest was supposed to be bad and abusive but, my experience was much different. I willingly embraced this relationship as well as my mother and, it ended up with us falling in love. I know how that must sound to most people in society but, matters of the heart can be very complicated.
We have since moved on but, I have experienced problems when it comes to intimacy with other women and even my wife. I find it difficult to maintain an erection during sex without thinking of my mother and I usually don't last more than a few minutes without risking losing my erection. This all stems from my past with my mother. I also find it difficult to get excited unless my wife performs the same acts with me that my mom and I used to do.
I know therapy would help but, there is no way for me to see a therapist without confessing to my wife about my past with my mom and some secrets are better left that way for the sake of everyone. Until I lose my mother or divorce I'm afraid therapy is out of the question. At least in person anyway.
Wow
I got similar issues that come up but to tired to go over the details just that my mom was my first lover
 
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