Intimacy Issues?

[David Wayne]

Hi guys. One of the primary reasons for me joining here is to maybe get some insight on anyone else experiencing intimacy issues within relationships. My wife and I have been together for almost 30 years and married for almost 23. We had a good sex life and a lot of intimacy in other ways up until about 10 years ago, which was when my PTSD started kicking into high gear. I isolated myself from my emotions and shut down sexually in the physical sense. I've been repeating certain behaviors from my past, when I was in late childhood and teen years and sex became extremely confused with love. Sometimes my pent up sexuality and anxiety boil to the surface and I get involved in inappropriate relationships, and sometimes very intense sexting. I have not been in physical contact with any woman other than my wife, but mentally and emotionally I've been unfaithful due to these compulsions to engage in sexting with women and a few times with men. I don't share photos or videos. The beauty and intensity of words captivates me and carries me away.

Any feedback is appreciated, thanks.

 

[i-m-Bri]

David,

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I've been struggling with intimacy my whole life. I have made serious progress the last few months. Long ago I stopped hoping, but I worked through some stuff and I can accept friendly touch and some more intimate contact. I never dreamed I would!

 

[greenwizard]

I kind of shied away from intimacy with woman myself for a while. When I was first introduced to my current girlfriend I had like no interest in sex with her, but I liked her. It was actually my reluctance to engage that got her to kind of demand to know what was going on, and I told her what happened. She was actually very understanding and let me go at my own pace.

For quite a while even after I got comfortable with her my interest in sex wasn't there much. Slowly but surely over time as I get more comfortable my interest grows. We went from saying goodnight with a handshake to sleeping naked in the same bed.

After something happens to you it is not easy to engage in intimacy, I know. Are you seeing someone about the PTSD? The trick is learning how to calm yourself.

Maybe get yourself back into the swing of things a little bit at a time? My girlfriend recently decided to confide to me that she's into bondage, and wanted me to play with her. Now, just jumping in like that, no way in hell. My personal boundary control issues, well, I've got a death grip on that. But she did talk me into baby steps. Baby steps I can handle, and so far, things aren't going too badly in that department. We are going at a snail pace, but that's all I can handle, and she understands that.

 

[jas4159]

I have to admit i found myself struggling with similsr feelings . it was during my recovery that i may have a sexual issue. Never cheated but acted out in other ways. I had to wonder if i had sex addictions or was i simply acting out. In my blog i talk about this alot. Not sure which chapter 7 or 8.

 

[jas4159]

I have to admit i found myself struggling with similsr feelings . it was during my recovery that i may have a sexual issue. Never cheated but acted out in other ways. I had to wonder if i had sex addictions or was i simply acting out. In my blog i talk about this alot. Not sure which chapter 7 or 8.