Interesting observation from my Therapist yesterday on anxiety and stress

Interesting observation from my Therapist yesterday on anxiety and stress
E

EGL

Registrant
When I was talking to my therapist yesterday, I asked him why it's so difficult for me to cope with anxiety. I told him I feel like I should be able to deal with it, but when I feel it building, it's like it just starts feeding off itself and getting larger and larger until I have a meltdown to relieve it.

He said it was very common for abused people to deal with anxiety like that. The reason is that during a "normal" childhood where there are nurturing parents (not like mine) that a child feels that the world is a wonderful place, he feels loved, and that his parents are going to protect him from anything bad. (None of this happened with me - my father beat the shit out of me, my mother was emotionally distant, my brother sexually abused me, etc.)

He said that when someone from a "normal" childhood reaches adulthood and sees that the real world isn't really perfect, that they can handle stress of normal events because they have that inner reservoir of childhood nurturing that tends to buffer the stressful events. With me, he said, all I had was shit dumped on me as a child, so when I encounter stress, that reservoir of crap starts filling my mind as well and it really DOES start feeding on itself.

Anyway, I thought that was interesting. Finally starting to understand what's going on.
 
Parents don't realize how what they give or don't give a kid growing up can and does affect them for the rest of their life!!

Howard
 
Eddie - if I start getting anxious now, it's usually a load of increasing random thoughts setting me off & one triggers another. What I have learned to do (it took a lot of practice)is recognise when it is starting & I try to cut it off before it builds. How do I do it - I call up my inner voice & silenlty repeat in a firm voice either 'stop' or 'peace' unitl it fades away again. It might not work for everyone & like I say it took practice.

*also if I am in an anxious state, I avoid coke / coffee & other stimulants as this tends to make it worse.

Best wishes ...Rik
 
Wow, that really does make a lot of sense. I always wondered why we have problems with anxiety and panic, this really helps to clear the fog of it. Thanks for posting this, some food for thought.

scott
 
Thanks for sharing, I'm glad you found a lot of sense/insight out of it.

What happens to us shapes us into what we become and how we look at/think about things. Growing up, our parents are most influential. Unfortunately there aren't any Ward and June Cleavers (or even Dan and Rosanne Connors) out there. No parents are perfect, nor are any that are entirely wrong.

Take care,
Bill
 
Just a BIG thank you, EGL, for this post. Been in the middle of moving house, a very triggering event for me, as it calls up all the instability of my childhood that lead to my SA. This thread has been so helpful. It's such a lucid point that we have residual panic from the lack of grounding in our youth. It helps to put that in perspective and find a method, as Rick suggests, to keep it quelled. Been working for me as i deal with big waves of panic and fear and despair at the moment. There are real pressures in life, but add the pressures and fears of our childhood and it can become insurmountable. And it needn't.

Thanks so much, guys.

Alex
 
Eddie

got it stress, managed by stress = stress

you got a good T

ste
 
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