Insecurities with women.....why
I might be running the risk of soundng foolish but if i take my chances who knows.I have posted alot of things on here the last few days and although things in my new relationship are doing better then i ever expected they would, i'm now feeling as though i am unlovable and this really hurts....my girl has not only accepted me and my honesty/past i find myself analizing what she and i talk(ed) about and question my feelings around trust and honesty within myself and not with her,why is it that when things are going well i look for a reason to push anyone away who i think is not good enough for me which is a direct reflection of my own insecurities.I feel so immature especially tonight because i have not talked with her and my way of thinking right now is "she does not want to even talk with me much less want to be a part of my life"....this is what has been going through my head all day.It's as though i am like a little kid missing his mother and in dire need of attention of any kind.Is this even normal and if it is why do i feel so weak and unlovable..??.My mindset is the longer i act like this when i'm not with her these behaviors will show up when i am....at times i do feel lovable but recently i have not at all felt this way ....i am obviously conflictd,confused and unsure what i think or feel because if i could put a reason to why i feel this way then perhaps i would not act as such...I don't know i wish i could wipe away my past and start all over again with a clean slate...this is not of course a reality but for gods sake i can't deal with these feelings much longer.I know that i am in fact immature otherwise why do i act this way........insecurities they're killing me and i can't keep pretending to be one person one day and another the next....is this normal to think and feel this way as a result of the little boy in me who was abused..??....this i can't answer which is why i decided to bring my issue(s) here.I am at my wits end...i'm not a fony but i sure am acting like one.Does anything of what i said make any sense.Coop