Initiating a criminal investigation

Initiating a criminal investigation
T

theduck

New Registrant
For several years I have frequently become overwhelmed by the desire to see the man who abused me convicted. I realise that a conviction as an outcome is slight, however at the very least I want to know that at some point he had a police interview and was investigated and had to tough that out.

The problem i have been have is that my family, with whom i have discussed the abuse, refuse to help me in this way - even going to the point where they tell me that perhaps this is something that i would want to keep private - which always pisses me off cos i dont see why i should have to continue to internalise the issue. Even so, last year I plucked up the courage to go to the police myself to make a statement. I went and gave them a brief explanation of the offenses and they took my details and gave me a number that i could ring to 'speed things up'. I rang and spoke to the serious sexual offenses unit and they said they would get in touch soon and i could come in and give a full statement.

Unfortunately they havent - and I havent had the energy to continue pressing the matter. The offenses are now historic by about 25 year.

Is there anyone who has been able to bring charges against the person(s) who abused them after such a long time. And could you tell me how you went about it - as I am now at a lose as how to do this

thanks for listening
 
Hey TD,

Sorry you're having such a frustrating time of it. One thing that I would ask is whether or not you've discussed any of this with a skilled therapist. We have a couple of excellent articles regarding Disclosing and Confrontation that I'll help you locate.
I would expect the police to at least investigate whether or not the guy who abused you, is still abusing others.

There is such a thing as the Statute of Limitations, which means you may not be able to touch the guy, criminally. But you may be able to sue him for personal counseling expenses.

Something you'd want to check out with an attorney.

Welcome to the site,

David
 
Hello,

First of all, welcome to MS! I'm sorry that past events have brought you here but please know that there are a lot of great guys who are more than happy to listen to you. Feel free to unload when you are ready to.

Now, on to your question. I brought a civil suit against my perp in October of 2002 for abuse that occurred in the 1960s. What allowed me to do that was a change in the Connecticut law that extended the statute of limitations to 30 years past the age of majority which meant that I had until my 48th birthday. It was the easiest decision for me as my older son was entering the age when it was the worst for me and I just got angry (pissed off is a better description) about what this perp did to me and how he betrayed my entire family.

I found a great lawyer who also handles priest abuse cases so he was experienced in these matters and we went forward. It took some time, almost three years, and I had to go through a deposition and a release of my medical records but I had the support of my wife and that helped a lot. We settled out of court a few months ago at the urging of the judge. The perp wanted a confidentiality agreement but I refused. I told someone and I WAS BELIEVED!

There's a whole bunch more about this story and much of it is on the members side but what I want you to know is that it can be done but it's going to be hard. Was it worth it for me? It was, because I've gone from survivor to thriver and I just had to do it to get where I am now.

There is information on this site about confronting your abuser. I urge you to take a look. I am a big advocate of confronting your perp to bring them to account because it helped me so much but I'm just an individual case. There is risk involved and you should be aware of that.

Given that the offenses you refer to are so far in the past you may bump into a statute of limitations for a criminal case but you won't know until you ask. If a civil action is possible I'm sure you can find an attorney who may be able to advise you.

That's the legal stuff. Sorry to post such a long reply but I hope you are also looking to take care of yourself in other ways. Coming here is a good first step but healing and recovery is an individual thing. Just know that we don't judge at MS. We offer unconditional support and hope that you can take advantage of what is here.

Finally, a note about your family. They were betrayed along with you and that may be a reason for the reluctance. Perps are very good at grooming their victims and count on them to "keep it private". I'm happy to read that you don't want to do that. Be safe. Be strong. You can recover!

Best regards,

Zipser
 
Duck,

I'm glad you've found us here at MS. I can't offer any help unfortunately on the legal side (I'm from Australia and our laws are quite different regarding sexual abuse) but I wanted to add comment to your family's reluctance and suggestion you keep quiet.

Of course, whatever legal action you pursue (if you do) is up to you and for your sake but to keep things quiet when you don't wish to do that any more I believe is wrong for them to say that. It adds to the whole shame thing and just reinforces to the whole world that you shouldn't talk about these things and they should be kept quiet. Rubbish! That's why childhood sexual abuse is more rampant that it should be. We need more people shouting out that it does happen (for those that can and have the strength do to do) - and you seem like one of those.

Your family may be 'well meaning' in their suggestion of further silence but that will never help reduce these crimes against innocent young children. No wonder that pisses you off. And yes, this is a little charged because I know first hand like you, the harm of the "silent scream".
 
Duck - I don't know where you are from, but I am from the UK (England). I was abused back in 1969 & only reported it for the first time in Oct of last year, to the local police.

My abuser has appeared in Magistrates Court twice so far & appears in Crown Court today (I'm up too late again...turned midnight). Today he can plead guilty or not & the court will decide the next step.

Best wishes ..Rik

1969 to 2004 (year of complaint) = 35 years & the CPS are progressing the case!
 
A friend and I, we just finish with that this week. But for me, his offenses only finish two years ago. For my friend, it was 'one time' situation of this man, but was 11 years ago. It is different situation though I think, because he get put on trial for more serious crime, and the testimony of my friend, it just add to it like? So I do not know it, how it would work for you after such long time, and I am sure it will depend on what country you are in. I hope someone here can help you.

Andrei
 
Duck,

It was more than 25 years after the fact when I reported one man who abused me to the Pennsylvania State Police. They did do an investigation, but the statute of limitations had expired. It is based on the law at the time of the crime. Back then I think a lot of jurisdictions had less enlightened laws than some do now.

I did it because I heard from a family member that this man had a job at a school for boys. It turned out to be a very good thing for me, personally, though.

As for the perp, he did once have that job, but had been dismissed years ago. I don't know the specifics of why, but I know enough to suspect he hurt someone else while he was there.

If you really want to force an investigation, persistence might be the key. I wrote my original letter to two State Police Barracks, the FBI, the school itself, and the Police Department in the city where he abused me. Spread the news around and someone will begin working on it, if only to cover their own ass. I don't believe that was why PSP did the investigation, but I can see how that might motivate someone who'd otherwise just wish you'd be quiet.

I join the call to take care of yourself by speaking to a counselor or therapist. Your family is no help at all, from what you've written, and this is not the kind of thing that can "solve" itself, no matter how long you wait.

Thanks,

Joe
 
Thanks for all the replies.

I'm realising that the growing snowball thing in my head is building up to trying again with getting something done. I think that this time Im going to find a counsellor / therapist who will help me write a atatement that i will then submit to the police, with that being the desired result of couselling - tho i may later add to the desired outcomes list.

I live in the UK and Im certain that we dont have a any statues of limitaion on offenses of abuse against children, and im pretty certain that there never has been so as the offense carries a life sentence as i was under 12 at the time, and those things dont change that often in these parts !

As for confronting the guy, i did that about 15 years ago and all he had to say for himself is that 'i didnt get it so bad' and i should be 'grateful' and that he had 'had it worse'. I remember telling myself at the time that under no circumstances was I to forget this situation.

As for my family, he has manipulated them, the depth to which he has gone to cover his tracks is at times remarkable. He must have spent a lot of time and energy coming up with ways to discredit me in front of my family and making sure that i limited my contact with them.

To be honest I dont want to publish the details here as it might polute a later investigation. I have for the last few years been discussing it with my friends, but there is a point at which through no fault of their own their ability to empathise stops, which i dont resent because i wouldnt wish knowing how assualt and betrayal feels. But it can be fustrating, for my friends too im sure.

ill let you know how building a complete statement goes.

well, most likely how starting a statement goes

;)
 
Duck - we obviously live in the same country.

I would point out that there are members of the Police Force that have had training in taking statements for the type of complaints that we generate.

I hit on very lucky one night when I had been out socialising. I actually went for a walk (hammered on real ale) when I got home. The walk was towards where I was actually abused 36 years ago (round about this time of year).

I only got half way there because the weather was so bad. On my return journey, there was a police car checking out the local museum. The driver of the car wound his window down & engaged me in conversation ( I think they thought I was a Burglar or something). As the conversation halted, I just looked at the policeman & he looked at me & asked if there was anything else?

That's where I finally got my story out - won't bore you with the rest of the details, but this policeman had received relevant training to deal with my situation. Right time / right place!

I live in the North East (the land of flat caps and coal mines - so most people seem to think).

As stated - this case is now going to Crown Court. I was/am very much believed.

What I would say to you is to think before you go ahead and do anything official - make sure that you are ready. I gained a lot of strength both here and from friends before I took this step (even if I was hammered, I had been building up to it).

Once it's official, it's a slow process - it's almost a year since I made my statement & it's only just got to the plea process at Crown Court.

Best wishes ...Rik
 
Duck
I live in the UK and work for Axis, a Survivors charity based in Shropshire.
We provide therapy and support for guys like us, and I guess most organizations will help to write statements and get the law involved if possible.

I have some good contacts and lots of phone numbers, if I can help please send me a Private Message ( PM ) and let me know where you live, and I'll see what I can do.

Dave
 
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