Indirect self harm and religion

[mark250676]

Being someone that has always rejected religion due to my feelings that the negative effects, hatred and things bad things done in "god's name", far outweigh any positives. I was surprised to feel an understanding of some religious groups that feel the need to punish themselves to reflect the sin's of man that they say god paid the ultimate prce for.

Having lived with untreated depression, a stomach ulcer, self harm, alcohol addiction and it's related physical effects for years. I can kind of feel a kinship to someone paying for the sins of others.

I'm was punishing myself for the sins of my abuser?

Or was I just wallowing in self pity?

My mind is split. It used to scream to me it was just self pity. But that blocked out my own screams.

Has anyone else felt the same?

 

[reality2k4]

Mark,

the next time you look at a little kid and see his/her innocence, does it warm your heart?
It does to me, and it is what we should have been able to keep, our innocence which was taken away.

Religion is blamed for every bad or atrocious thing that goes on in the world.
You are describing how we got to hating ourselves for little reason, and the perception that God never listens or punishes the right people.

When I was a boy, I only had God to talk to, nobody else, and yes, the internal screaming was none stop, and I got to the church one day and asked God why he never helped me.

Why did he just let me live in such chaos in my little world with nobody to even share the hurt.
I would be thinking on Sunday mass about how many really knew what they were there for, other than to be seen as followers of someone they could never even identify with, God.

It is not God in any religion who kills, he says in any religion that we have free choice to do what we want, if we do something real bad then we will ultimately pay for it.

The common myth that God forgave those who sinned against him, was real, but it did not go unpunished, it never did.
He made them punish themselves for life by being so harsh on a wise man, guilt.

So, if you look back into the innocent child eyes and see how vulnerable he would have been, then how should he carry the guilt of another.

But he does, for many reasons, quite often because he never felt strong enough to talk it with another, so he blames himself from an early age to just bottle it all up with all the consequences that follow.

You have to back Mark, to how you processed information when you were a kid.
My maturity, or should I say puberty was knocked back a few years, and didnt know what sex even was.

God, maybe got you this far, so guess he loves you,

ste