In the belly of the Tiger
Guys,
I have mostly posted in the member forum lately. I post less now that I did at one time.
A very good friend of mine, who I kind of look to as the father I wanted but never had, pointed something out to me. Not only in a telephone conversation, but in a post on the member forum.
For the first time in a few months, there is not much I'm afraid of. And not really wound up about anything either.
He said to me, "You've been in the belly of the Tiger and you came through it. You faced the biggest fears and got through it".
He's right. He also made a reference to All Quiet on the Western Front. Meaning for the first time in months, I don't have anything to grieve over or fear.
Facing the loss of my brother and a surgery that would determine the course of my life has changed me. Yes, I am still a screwed up survivor. But I realize that life is precious. And that I want to stick around. Simple things. Like walking past a garden and smelling the fragance. Instead of having to have everything ordered and in control. A little chaos here is welcome.
May not make a lot of sense to you. But when I had faced the darkest days of my life as an adult and realized I am going to be spared, I just enjoy taking notice of the everyday things. Because it is so alive.
Marc
I have mostly posted in the member forum lately. I post less now that I did at one time.
A very good friend of mine, who I kind of look to as the father I wanted but never had, pointed something out to me. Not only in a telephone conversation, but in a post on the member forum.
For the first time in a few months, there is not much I'm afraid of. And not really wound up about anything either.
He said to me, "You've been in the belly of the Tiger and you came through it. You faced the biggest fears and got through it".
He's right. He also made a reference to All Quiet on the Western Front. Meaning for the first time in months, I don't have anything to grieve over or fear.
Facing the loss of my brother and a surgery that would determine the course of my life has changed me. Yes, I am still a screwed up survivor. But I realize that life is precious. And that I want to stick around. Simple things. Like walking past a garden and smelling the fragance. Instead of having to have everything ordered and in control. A little chaos here is welcome.
May not make a lot of sense to you. But when I had faced the darkest days of my life as an adult and realized I am going to be spared, I just enjoy taking notice of the everyday things. Because it is so alive.
Marc
