In recovery mode/Emotional heavy damage last 2days
Thank you all for caring and responding to my previous post.I am now back home out of the hospital recovering from a major operation where cancer was removed from my neck and vital organs surrounding internal components,still waiting results of pathology of the removed parts.Now placed on medication the rest of my life in order to function properly every day.
While in recovery mode I have been in contact with the significant other who I still to this day love and care about who walked back into my life after many years of seperation.I received a very low blow where I have been told this person found someone else even though this person has told me they love me,long story short the significant other is leaving the state I am in for Chicago where this person grew up and the worst about the low blow was being told this significant other found someone else they have known a lot longer then myself and apparently they are going to be tieing the knot once this person gets to Chicago.I am feeling so very hurt,confused,abandonded for yet a second time in my life by this person,betrayed,I feel resentment and I feel so stupid and so vunerable to have allowed myself to open up to this person just to get let down and hurt and feeling like a knife was just put into my heart and a very large chunk is gone forever,I now feel so alone and tears are flowing minute by minute turning to the only thing I know to help get me through which is to hit the bottle.I love this person so much but I also want this person to be happy themselves and this persons kids as well and if tha means having to let go another time then I guess I will have a gaping wound to contend with not including my actual over all health.
My significant other decided this two weeks ago even though we are still talking but waited until after my surgery was over with and waited a couple of days until this person thought I was strong enough to take this very heavy blow,nothing can prepare a person to be so deeply hurt and so deeply torn.Feeling so alone and starting to go back hill now that I know this person is leaving in a week and I may never see this person again in my life man this so sucks goodbye is just not my cup of tea especially when it comes to this person I have loved this person since we got together years ago even though we drifted apart the feelings never left but got so much stronger since we got back together that now I am having a hell of a time letting go this is not what I wished maybe we can at least still stay very close best friends and keep in touch who really knows right now waiting to have another conversation where I can get myself together and suck it up and deal with what is happening and dealing with my feelings without letting tears dominate how I feel.
While in recovery mode I have been in contact with the significant other who I still to this day love and care about who walked back into my life after many years of seperation.I received a very low blow where I have been told this person found someone else even though this person has told me they love me,long story short the significant other is leaving the state I am in for Chicago where this person grew up and the worst about the low blow was being told this significant other found someone else they have known a lot longer then myself and apparently they are going to be tieing the knot once this person gets to Chicago.I am feeling so very hurt,confused,abandonded for yet a second time in my life by this person,betrayed,I feel resentment and I feel so stupid and so vunerable to have allowed myself to open up to this person just to get let down and hurt and feeling like a knife was just put into my heart and a very large chunk is gone forever,I now feel so alone and tears are flowing minute by minute turning to the only thing I know to help get me through which is to hit the bottle.I love this person so much but I also want this person to be happy themselves and this persons kids as well and if tha means having to let go another time then I guess I will have a gaping wound to contend with not including my actual over all health.
My significant other decided this two weeks ago even though we are still talking but waited until after my surgery was over with and waited a couple of days until this person thought I was strong enough to take this very heavy blow,nothing can prepare a person to be so deeply hurt and so deeply torn.Feeling so alone and starting to go back hill now that I know this person is leaving in a week and I may never see this person again in my life man this so sucks goodbye is just not my cup of tea especially when it comes to this person I have loved this person since we got together years ago even though we drifted apart the feelings never left but got so much stronger since we got back together that now I am having a hell of a time letting go this is not what I wished maybe we can at least still stay very close best friends and keep in touch who really knows right now waiting to have another conversation where I can get myself together and suck it up and deal with what is happening and dealing with my feelings without letting tears dominate how I feel.
