In My Head...

[wreckage]

So this morning my wife says that she was wondering about all the angry outbursts my oldest daughter has been having (she just starting seeing a therapist).

She hypothesized that perhaps it was that she was molested and therefore angry because she can't tell anyone. I emphasize that there is speculative on her part.

This concept got in my head and it upset me to think that she might have been molested. I know how that can fuck someone up. Though there's no evidence, I am obsessing on this.

It could be other things. Need some feedback- just wanted to bounce things off and get this out of my head and into words.

 

[DanielQ432]

I hope it isn't a situation where you are suspect. I think a false accusation of that, when a relationship ends bitterly in divorce or separation, something I've seen through the course of my work at a law firm, would be a horrible psychological burden.

The reality of the situation, though, is that there could be a lot of causes, physiological or psychological, for anger, temper, other than PTSD. It's good that she's seeing a therapist; if she is younger, I assume that the therapist would be able to tell you his/her findings, a diagnosis, and what he/she believes is the cause, although I think often CSA victims have to work up to telling a therapist about that, for various reasons including the trauma of talking about it and the embarrassment.

I know in my case, I believe I did a total of about 11 years of therapy before I ever told a therapist my father sexually abused me - I told them about the physical and psychological, but could never go there about the CSA. I've seen I believe 5 therapists, the first four were all women, and that was a factor too, my current one is a man, and a trauma specialist.

So, depending on circumstances, you may never know if she is old enough to have privilege invoked and if she chooses not to tell you. OTOH, if something happened at some point, like molestation by a coach, teacher, neighbor, or something like date rape if she is older, it may just come gushing out in a torrent some day.

I hope the psychologist helps. If necessary, you also might want to consider a psychiatrist or speaking with her primary care doctor or pediatrician about medications that might potentially help? I'm not medically trained, but perhaps a mood stabilizer like lamotrigine would help?

 

[wreckage]

I am not suspect. My wife did ask me if I did anything- that is her paranoia (she has mental health issues) and I know she needs to clear the field so to speak. I too have mental health issues and we have a strong marriage.

My daughter is 11. I agree that it could be that she is affected by something else. She has had anger since she is little.

There are other OCD-like issues emerging with her.

 

[DanielQ432]

Well, I'm happy for you that it's not that kind of situation. I guess your wife's inquiry is understandable, since it does happen, but I'm sure her mental health problems contribute as you say.

Yes, could be many possible causes, hopefully the professionals will be able to sort it out and help before it becomes a bigger problem.

 

[greenwizard]

Well, if you and your wife both have mental health issues that is quite likely the problem. Chemical imbalances are hereditary. I inherited my anxiety from my mother, though mine is much more severe for some reason. And when I was told I might be bi-polar I did research on the symptoms. I had a lot of them, and as I think back, so did my father.

Although, just in case, it doesn't hurt to be alert about things and encourage your daughter to tell you if something like that is indeed happening.

 

[wreckage]

Thanks for the support. Good point.

 

[Shyshark]

Hi wreckage ...

Two things ...

Is it possible that she's being hit by puberty? ... There may be no physical signs yet. My sis started at 10 and she turned into the Tasmanian Devil for 2 years.

You might be proactive and speak with her therapist ... just mention your history and your fear for her. It would be helpful for him to see about that and pursue it or dismiss it.

Just a few thoughts.