Images that have helped in working through abuse

Images that have helped in working through abuse

kcinohio

Registrant
Thought it might be good for those of us who've found somethings helpful to post on those. I understand when going through early MS stuff, there are a lot of painful feelings surrounding the abuse. It's not always easy to actually work past those into something more functional initially as they hit hard. At least that was my experience.

But, one image that did help relatively early on, separating the victim from the shame of the abuse event, was the visual idea of holding up a mirror between the abuser and victim, where the abuser could only see himself (or herself). That way all the shame of the abusive event was reflected on the abuser, not the victim.

As a CSA survivor, I may have had some pain to process through from abuse endured that had been delayed until I could better handle it, but the shame from the event wasn't on me, it was on the abuser. Viewing it that way, it was much easier to see what was their stuff, and what was or wasn't my own, so I could make progress working on myself rather than stay stuck in reliving the abuse dynamic.

The shame reflected back to the abuser was all his, not mine, to deal with. It is kind of a simple hokey image, but I found it helpful.

Was wondering if any others here had there images they used that helped them to process through the abuse somewhat successfully?
 
Hi kcinohio,

Great imagery. And good point! The shame was theirs. In my case, at least in the milder verbal/emotional abuse, I've visualized giving back dark clumps of erroneous negative emotions (anger, rage, judgment) to those, especially the mom, who treated me as their scapegoat and whipping boy, stating as I did so, this is yours, your responsibility, not mine, not my fault. You can have it back. I had to do that several times, but it definitely helped.
 
I like that idea a lot. Thirty years after the abuse... THIRTY YEARS!... I still struggle with the shame. I'm going to really focus on this idea of the mirror reflecting the shame and stuff back onto him. It's true. It isn't mine. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thank you.

Wow. I'm in like a whirlwind of emotion right now. Damn.

Bob
 
Hang in there Bob. There's not a day goes by now where I don't break down in tears. Never expected this.

Shame - I don't even know where to begin. The idea of disowning it is entirely new. I've got a long way to go but really appreciate the insight KC.
 
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