I'm Tired

[Sinking]

I'm so tired.
Tired of being the strong one.
Tired of conjuring strength.
Tired of helping everyone else.
Tired of always trying to do the right thing.
Tired of never feeling like I am doing the right thing.
Tired of always worrying about how everyone else feels.
Tired of hurting.
Tired of waiting for the occasional good day
Tired of living through all the other days.
Tired of learning.
Tired of keeping up the front.
Tired of fighting.
I'm so fucking tired.
Tired of hiding.
Tired of trying to reveal myself.
Tired of healing myself.
Tired of hurting myself.
Tired of hating myself.
Tired of hating them.
Tired of cleaning up this mess on my own.
Tired of being alone.
Tired of trying to like myself.
Tired of this and that and everything else.

 

[outis]

Sinking,

Sounds like you need to take some well deserved time off and rest. You got tired by working hard. There must be something in your life that can take your mind off this crap for a while. Maybe some activity with your family?

Go easy on yourself.

Joe

 

[crisispoint]

Deep breath, my brother, and relax.

I know how you feel, and sometimes you need to walk away for a while, even if it's for a minute or two.

Disconnect the phones, lock the door, take a nap, watch a movie, read a book, meditate, pray, whatever feels right for you.

And, yep, we will still be here when you get back.

Be gentle with yourself, as youwant others to be gentle with you.

Peace and love, my brother,

Scot

 

[Mike Church]

Sinking:

You said

Tired of being alone.

Well my brother you are not alone any more and dont forget that ok. Every damned one of us is here for you and for each other. We got strong shoulders to lean on and you give your shoulder when required.

You say

Tired of trying to like myself.

Sinking then stop trying and just do it. Carry around a piece of paper in your wallet or paste it on the bathroom mirror.

Say

" I am a good man and I like myself and I deserve all the good things that happen to me"

You know Sinking it is all learned behaviour and it was how we all coped. Not well by a long shot. Start being as gentle with yourself as you are with others. I know it is difficult to practice what we suggest to others. It is almost as if we are different. And we are not. We are all just slogging ahead.

Hope this helps

 

[Bill_1965]

Hey Sinking,

Sounds like a little rest and relaxation are in order. Some time for you and you alone.

We'll be here when you come back.

Take care,
Bill

 

[coolcat]

Hey Man:

I hear you all the way, I am feeling the same.Not sure what we can do but hopefully soon it will smooth out abit. Take care of yourself even though I know it is not easy.
Gus

 

[Leosha]

It does become quite old and tiresome. I think that everyone here can relate to what it is you are saying. The most important thing to remember is that you are NOT alone. You may be physically in solitude right now, but you are not at all emotionally alone in dealing with all this. That is what this site is here for, and what help it can give.

I hope that you are able to be good to yourself, and rest yourself some. You are a good man, and deserve to come through this all the way, to the rewards on the other side. I wish you good luck.

Leosha