im the only one here for myself, and i cant be.

im the only one here for myself, and i cant be.
L

lipsticklullabies

Registrant
i cant face what happened to me.
i cant face what even happpend to other people.
i get this horrible horrible brick in my gut and my body shuts down and i dont want to do anything cept sit in my room and hope that feeling goes away.
im the only person that can push me to go to therapy, take myself to therapy, make myself face it but, im not strong enough
i cant make myself get help, its easier to sit in my room and try not to feel anything than it is to face it.
i dont have anyone.
i have my bestfriend for support, she always hugs me and she'll listen to me if i need to talk but she doesn't know what to do! ya know,
theres this guy, a family friend, he moved a couple years ago to PA across the country...
me and him keep in contact over emails and IMs. hes a counsler, so he tries to help me a lot.
he is a help
but he's so far away he cant do much.
he tries to push me to go to therapy but, when it comes down to it all
its just me.
and im all alone.
and im not worth it.
so now im wondering whats the point of senoir year.
whats the point of trying. i know ill just fuck it over.
theres no point in even wanting to try.
i really really hate living.
and i know suicide is the last thing anyone wants to hear but honestly, what do i have to loose.
could it really be worse than this?
//josh.
 
i cant say much
to u cuz i tryd to
kill myself wen
i felt like u.
im glad it didnt
work.
even tho all this
suks.
its worth it.
this probly
didnt help u much.
i feel like u do
alot to. so u
can talk to me
if u want.
 
Josh please don't give up. YOU ARE WORTH IT

Its not your fault you feel the way you do.

I know only to well the feeling of despair, not being able to go outside or face anything. Of Feeling worthless. Thinking this shit will never get any easier.

I promise it does get better, not straight away, not all at once, but IT WILL GET BETTER.

There will always be people here who will listen to you. We all understand what your going through and wan't to help.

I hate seeing a fellow brother in such obvious pain.

Can you not call your friend over?

Can you not IM your counseler friend?

You really should make yourself go see your Therapist as this will help you enormously. How about asking your friend to take you there to make sure you go? just an idea.

Don't suffer in silence on your own. It takes great courage and strength to ask for help but its well worth it.

You have your whole life ahead of you and that is worth fighting for even if you can't see it right now.

Keep strong and never give up Josh

Take care

Craig
 
suicide sucks cause you cant take it back.
 
all i can say is that with work and therapy, this doesnt have to own and define your life. i was watching Oprah the other day, and she said something i liked. "There is life after abuse."

Josh, what happened to you is wrong, but you are still alive, and if you work on it, you can have a long happy life. give yourself that chance. come here, work up the courage to finally come out and get the help you need. i one wrote here, and i believe that silence is a prison, and speaking out is the key to unlock it.

i will remember you in my prayers, and i wish you all the best. hang in there.

jeff
 
As many have said, we have been where you are and felt similar kinds of things. You are in a process of recovery. What you are feeling is real and normal. As you continue to take a step forward and keep trying, you will see that things will work and you will be ok. Just be real patient with yourself, your going to be ok, just keep working at it.

Working at it is writing us messages as you did. A wonderful step forward. Keep it up and let us be here to help.

Love, Barney
 
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