I'm new
I'm new
- Thread starterLoki
- Start date
Loki,
First of all, welcome. I wish you hadn't needed to find a site like this, but I am glad you are here. You will find great support and brotherhood here.
Don't worry about posting your story now. We simply ask you to take it at your own pace. You don't have to do anything here. There are no expectations.
But when you post, expect nothing but validation and support.
Be gentle with yourself.
Peace,
Marc
First of all, welcome. I wish you hadn't needed to find a site like this, but I am glad you are here. You will find great support and brotherhood here.
Don't worry about posting your story now. We simply ask you to take it at your own pace. You don't have to do anything here. There are no expectations.
But when you post, expect nothing but validation and support.
Be gentle with yourself.
Peace,
Marc
I know where you come from. It has been my intention to write down the story of what happened to me for many years. But I havent been able to do it. I try from time to time, but quickly become confused. I Can write at length on many subjects. Just not that one.
Earlier to day I was writing a short note and found myself ranting on an entirely different subject that I had started out with. I stopped myself, then posted the thing. It was kind of liberating.
Writing it down is just a method of self study. Posting it here is more like self acceptance. You dont have to write anything that you dont want. And if you do want, it doesnt have to be linear. You dont have to start at the beginning and go to the end all on one page. You can start in the middle and limit what you write to a single thought. Whatever you are comfortable with.
In the short time that I have been here I have said some pretty strong things. So far no one has been unkind and some have proven to be a source of insight beyond my own resources. One thing I am fairly sure of, you are not likely to shock anyone here with an account of your trials.
It is up to you. You are likely to find support and understanding even if all you do is read
Earlier to day I was writing a short note and found myself ranting on an entirely different subject that I had started out with. I stopped myself, then posted the thing. It was kind of liberating.
Writing it down is just a method of self study. Posting it here is more like self acceptance. You dont have to write anything that you dont want. And if you do want, it doesnt have to be linear. You dont have to start at the beginning and go to the end all on one page. You can start in the middle and limit what you write to a single thought. Whatever you are comfortable with.
In the short time that I have been here I have said some pretty strong things. So far no one has been unkind and some have proven to be a source of insight beyond my own resources. One thing I am fairly sure of, you are not likely to shock anyone here with an account of your trials.
It is up to you. You are likely to find support and understanding even if all you do is read
Welcome Loki,
You've already made the big step. Share what your comfortable sharing when your comforatable. There is no hurry. There is no time schedule. That's all up to you and when your ready to share some more tid bits. You've already started, doesn't that feel good. And a little scarey.
Read the posts. When your ready, add a reply to one that grabs you or post a question, concern, or comment of your own. We'll be here.
Take care and be true to yourself,
Bill
P.S. I don't have my story in Survivor's Stories, but if you flip through my posts you can piece it together. I have started to write it. It takes time and isn't easy.
You've already made the big step. Share what your comfortable sharing when your comforatable. There is no hurry. There is no time schedule. That's all up to you and when your ready to share some more tid bits. You've already started, doesn't that feel good. And a little scarey.
Read the posts. When your ready, add a reply to one that grabs you or post a question, concern, or comment of your own. We'll be here.
Take care and be true to yourself,
Bill
P.S. I don't have my story in Survivor's Stories, but if you flip through my posts you can piece it together. I have started to write it. It takes time and isn't easy.
Loki,
Welcome to the family, my brother. If you can't write about your abuse now, no biggie. Write about it only when you are comfortable. There is no rush.
I believe you will find nothing but support here. The brothers are a deep well of inspiration and support. We are always here for you.
Casey
Welcome to the family, my brother. If you can't write about your abuse now, no biggie. Write about it only when you are comfortable. There is no rush.
I believe you will find nothing but support here. The brothers are a deep well of inspiration and support. We are always here for you.
Casey
fusionoflove
Registrant
Loki,
Welcome, first of all don't try to force yourself to write. Sometimes things come all at once, sometimes they don't. It doesn't matter. What's important is that your here and that you've made a conscious choice to face your past and everything that comes with it. That takes a lot guts.
Make sure to read as much as you can on the subject. Mike Lew's book, Victims No Longer has become a bible of sorts to me. I've read 3 times so far.
I can't stress this enough to you, but allow yourself to feel. Begin to feel your emotions and don't be scared of what happens with them. They're just feelings. Working through those feelings will help to set you free.
When I joined another member once said to me, "Welcome to the treehouse. It sucks you had to find us, but I'm glad you did." I couldn't have said it any better.
Take it easy,
Fusion
Welcome, first of all don't try to force yourself to write. Sometimes things come all at once, sometimes they don't. It doesn't matter. What's important is that your here and that you've made a conscious choice to face your past and everything that comes with it. That takes a lot guts.
Make sure to read as much as you can on the subject. Mike Lew's book, Victims No Longer has become a bible of sorts to me. I've read 3 times so far.
I can't stress this enough to you, but allow yourself to feel. Begin to feel your emotions and don't be scared of what happens with them. They're just feelings. Working through those feelings will help to set you free.
When I joined another member once said to me, "Welcome to the treehouse. It sucks you had to find us, but I'm glad you did." I couldn't have said it any better.
Take it easy,
Fusion
reality2k4
Registrant
Loki Hi
When I got to thia forum, I was lost and thought I was the only one surviving this madness.
My life was full of so many unanswered questions, that you never dare ask, and then I get here and already so many of them have been answered.
It sucks that we have to be in here, but sucks even more if we weren't.
Welcome
ste
When I got to thia forum, I was lost and thought I was the only one surviving this madness.
My life was full of so many unanswered questions, that you never dare ask, and then I get here and already so many of them have been answered.
It sucks that we have to be in here, but sucks even more if we weren't.
Welcome
ste
Loki
As everyone has said "take your time" you will in time be able to write. It took me ages now I cant stop.
Welcome to malesurvivor its a shame we couldnt meet under different circumstances.
Stay close to the site there is a lot of wisdom here.
Archnut
"And all that was left was hope"
My Story (Triggers)
https://www.waltonhop.blogspot.com
As everyone has said "take your time" you will in time be able to write. It took me ages now I cant stop.
Welcome to malesurvivor its a shame we couldnt meet under different circumstances.
Stay close to the site there is a lot of wisdom here.
Archnut
"And all that was left was hope"
My Story (Triggers)
https://www.waltonhop.blogspot.com
Hi Loki,
Glad you found us here, but also sad you had to search us out. As far as writing, I found it very cathartic to helping me get the emotions out after I first started to deal with this crap after 31 years of silence.
One bit of advice I would offer is to try your best not to gauge the abuse you received against others which can have the effect of causing you to minimize your own story when you read some of the horrible things that happened to others. Everyone's story here is painful, real, and horrible to them, no matter how much more horrible someone else's may be. I've seen many stories that make me think "Hey, I didn't have it so bad." But then I remember how bad it was for me and I know that's not true. My therapist put it into perspective when she said "If I get a burn all up and down one arm, that hurts really, really bad. If I get burns all up and down both arms, that hurts really, really bad too. But just getting burned on one arm, doesn't make it hurt any less."
Again, welcome to the group and we're very glad to help in any way possible.
Glad you found us here, but also sad you had to search us out. As far as writing, I found it very cathartic to helping me get the emotions out after I first started to deal with this crap after 31 years of silence.
One bit of advice I would offer is to try your best not to gauge the abuse you received against others which can have the effect of causing you to minimize your own story when you read some of the horrible things that happened to others. Everyone's story here is painful, real, and horrible to them, no matter how much more horrible someone else's may be. I've seen many stories that make me think "Hey, I didn't have it so bad." But then I remember how bad it was for me and I know that's not true. My therapist put it into perspective when she said "If I get a burn all up and down one arm, that hurts really, really bad. If I get burns all up and down both arms, that hurts really, really bad too. But just getting burned on one arm, doesn't make it hurt any less."
Again, welcome to the group and we're very glad to help in any way possible.
crisispoint
Registrant
Loki,
I'm sorry you need this place, but I'm so glad to see you and so VERY proud that you took the step.
The first one is always the hardest, but you'll find, with time, even when it sure as Hell doesn't FEEL like it, the steps afterward get easier.
The pain itself seems so much. The memories, the words, what those m***********s made you believe, weigh a lot and hurt worse than the fires of Hell. But someone once told me that pain is like a huge rock. At first, it takes ALL you've got to lift it, deal with it, and you're tired by the end of the day (nope, exhausted!). But with time and help, you get stronger and the rock doesn't weigh as much. It gets easier to lift and deal with it.
Knowing what I've seen, you are a strong person already, stronger than you realize right now. You've got a lot to contribute, and I can't wait to hear what you have to say, I'll bet you're an interesting person and a great guy.
When you're ready, tell what you have to. We'll be here and we're ready to help.
Now, as everyone who "knows" me here can tell you, there's something I always tell the new guys I "meet," and it seems like a bit much. When you consider, though, what you've been through, and the lies you've probably been told, you haven't heard it enough. I mean it when I say it, too. I love you, my new friend. I wish you healing and peace, and there's NO STRINGS ATTACHED. I want NOTHING in return from you.
Peace and much love, my friend,
Scot
I'm sorry you need this place, but I'm so glad to see you and so VERY proud that you took the step.
The first one is always the hardest, but you'll find, with time, even when it sure as Hell doesn't FEEL like it, the steps afterward get easier.
The pain itself seems so much. The memories, the words, what those m***********s made you believe, weigh a lot and hurt worse than the fires of Hell. But someone once told me that pain is like a huge rock. At first, it takes ALL you've got to lift it, deal with it, and you're tired by the end of the day (nope, exhausted!). But with time and help, you get stronger and the rock doesn't weigh as much. It gets easier to lift and deal with it.
Knowing what I've seen, you are a strong person already, stronger than you realize right now. You've got a lot to contribute, and I can't wait to hear what you have to say, I'll bet you're an interesting person and a great guy.
When you're ready, tell what you have to. We'll be here and we're ready to help.
Now, as everyone who "knows" me here can tell you, there's something I always tell the new guys I "meet," and it seems like a bit much. When you consider, though, what you've been through, and the lies you've probably been told, you haven't heard it enough. I mean it when I say it, too. I love you, my new friend. I wish you healing and peace, and there's NO STRINGS ATTACHED. I want NOTHING in return from you.
Peace and much love, my friend,
Scot
Loki
when you're ready, just write what you feel - ask whatever you want.
Nobody here passes judgement, we're here to offer the best support you're likely to find and all the help we can muster.
If you feel you need some help or advice the moderators are always here to help as well, just use the Private Message facility if you want.
Take care
Dave
when you're ready, just write what you feel - ask whatever you want.
Nobody here passes judgement, we're here to offer the best support you're likely to find and all the help we can muster.
If you feel you need some help or advice the moderators are always here to help as well, just use the Private Message facility if you want.
Take care
Dave
Loki - welcome.
When I log in here, I often have a quick scan of who else is on the site & how many visitors there are. I believe that many people just visit, read & take away what they need. Do what is best for you - if you feel that you want to post, that is your decision. People here will help you the best that they can.
Best wishes ...Rik
When I log in here, I often have a quick scan of who else is on the site & how many visitors there are. I believe that many people just visit, read & take away what they need. Do what is best for you - if you feel that you want to post, that is your decision. People here will help you the best that they can.
Best wishes ...Rik
loki,
welcome too, we have great brothers here.
i am rather new, 3 months. i hid mine for 31 years, am 41 now.
sorry you had to come here but there are so many of us. it has helped me a lot at times, i am numb at others.
also, i haven't told my story yet either. not ready. still a little painful. like the others say, when we are ready, we are. in the mean time, post whatever you feel like, or question, the guys and i are here to help and respond if we can or have value to add for you.
loki sounds a little hawaiian. i lived there 4 years, as a matter of fact that's where unfortunately my perp made me his g/f for 7 months. i have moved a lot as a miltary dependent as a child.
liked hawaii a lot except for that. hell, i even repressed that for all those years.
take care my brother. you are at a safe and good place.
sincerely, guy
welcome too, we have great brothers here.
i am rather new, 3 months. i hid mine for 31 years, am 41 now.
sorry you had to come here but there are so many of us. it has helped me a lot at times, i am numb at others.
also, i haven't told my story yet either. not ready. still a little painful. like the others say, when we are ready, we are. in the mean time, post whatever you feel like, or question, the guys and i are here to help and respond if we can or have value to add for you.
loki sounds a little hawaiian. i lived there 4 years, as a matter of fact that's where unfortunately my perp made me his g/f for 7 months. i have moved a lot as a miltary dependent as a child.
liked hawaii a lot except for that. hell, i even repressed that for all those years.
take care my brother. you are at a safe and good place.
sincerely, guy
Welcome here. Read all you wish, and do not feel need to 'jump in' and post or reply if you are not ready. There is no obligation to anyone to do that. You are obligated to yourself. You need to do what you can to keep yourself safe. You deserve that. We all do. I did not post my story until I had been here for 3 months. A friend of mine waited 5 months. Some still haven't. It is not required. Just do what feels safe, at your own pacing. I wish you well, and wish you good luck.
Leosha
Leosha