I'm new here

I'm new here
R

Ryan

Registrant
Hi,

I'm totally new here so please excuse the ignorance. I haven't posted anything yet because I have no idea what may or may not be construed as a 'trigger'.
This is allnew to me. I've been seeing a therapist for about a month due to depression and anxiety. Because of both my parents' multiple marriages, my therapist suggested I try to get my dad to talk to me about certain questions I had. Well, about a week ago, I did and through talking to him and my sister, there are things that I'm now remembering.
I'd like to somehow get my point across and share my thoughts and find support here. But, like I said, I don't what a trigger would be and don't want to upset anybody. So, if someone would be so kind as to inform me on what's what, I'd appreciate it because this stuff is killing me.

Thanks, Ryan
 
Hi Ryan!

Welcome!

I am not one of the moderators. They are the ones to approach if you have any questions (such as what is a trigger). But as a general rule, a trigger is something that is so intense, so graphic that it might "trigger" a flashback or strong emotional response from one of the guys.

Don't worry about how or what you post. Simply add "Trigger Warning" to the subject line, and you should be okay. As you get to see how things work, you'll see it's not quite as big a deal as it seems. Hey, life itself is overwhelming. You don't need to feel overwhelmed here. Just know that the rules (such as they are) do make sense. And are intended to protect guys like you and me.

The main thing to know is that you are here among friends. And just start posting, and you will feel yourself surrounded by a lot of support.

As we often say around here, I am very sorry for the circumstances that brought you here. But very glad that you found your way "home."

Again, let me welcome you!

Jasper :D
 
Welcome Ryan,

Sorry you have to be here. Jasper has given you good advice, but the following link contains the discussion board guidlines which may answer some questions and provide some guidance.

https://malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=005143

Donald
 
Welcome, Ryan. The others have pretty much said it all about the posting and triggers. I just wanted to add that sometimes when you are new, there are things that you may feel uncomfortable posting on the "public" board. As you get to know some of us, you may feel more comfortable at times using the PM (Private Messaging) system.

Don't feel like you're intruding on anyone with PMs - I can only speak for myself, but if I didn't want to have messages sent to me, I would have removed that feature from my profile. AND, if you do happen to write someone who is not in the space to help right now, they will usually write back and let you know.

YOu will find this place filled with very caring individuals who have gone through some of the same things that you endured when you were younger. We can truly say that we understand.

Groups are ALWAYS a good companion to individual therapy because you get feedback from a bunch of people. Sometimes (and I'm speaking from my own experience), one person can make an observation and it sort of goes in one ear and out the other - especially if it's something we don't want to hear. But, when five, six, seven people are making the same observation, you can pretty much trust that it's a valid point.

With that said, I welcome you and hope that you will find this place one of support and healing.

SD
 
I'm back. This is Ryan. It's been a long time but I've decided to come back. It's good to have a place to come back to every now and again. (even if it has been a couple of years) Lot's of things have happened.

Last time I was here, I was taking care of my uncle while having to deal with new found memories of abuse I was previously unaware of. At that time, I was seeing one T but changed to another one more suited for me and my issues. I was also on meds.

Well, I cared for my uncle until his passing. Acquired a job at a hospital and lost it 6 months later. Moved across the state to live closer to my sister. Worked in construction and then moved another six months later.

Now, I'm in a live-in relationship, working as a restaurant server, and, of course, still dealing with the memories. At the moment, I'm in a good place. I have my moments where flashbacks might be triggered and I break down and have to be held close and tight until it passes. I won't deny I need to be on meds again (it helps to keep my thoughts focused and not 'looping' around past events) and I could use a T to talk to about things (let's face it, sometimes you just don't want to share everything with your partner for the feeling of being a burden.)

But, yeah, I'm good and in an alright place. How is everyone?
 
Ryan,

Although I'm new here also, I want to welcome you back.

Get settled, and come on back in, the water is fine. LOL

Hope to chat soon.

Luv ya,
Carl
 
Ryan,

I'm glad you came back. I hope you will get back into the feel of things on the site and post about whatever concerns you. We are all here for you.

Much love,
Larry
 
Ryan, I am grateful to you for your post because when I read the guidelines on this website, I was befuddled and confused. I am new as well, and I'm not looking to drain moderators of their energy, create acrimony, or upset anyone, either. So, I guess we'll just have to learn the ropes and go with the flow.

Gatorboy
 
thanks scout, road, and gator..it's nice to know i'm in a safe place and can find help when i need it as well as provide help when i can. hope to talk to all of you soon.

hugs,
ryan
 
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