I'm human

Dear Brothers,

I know I'm new and I bounce around with my emotions regarding the SA issues and others. But I realized something over the last couple of days.

It has to do with how we communicate and how we respond to what is communicated to us.

And I realize I can be as guilty as anyone of saying the wrong thing or responding the wrong way to what is said to me. Heck, I'm downright hypersensitve about what is said to me. (Sorry Mike, guess I answered my own question).

But I'd like to hope I can consider the following before I speak or respond.

1. We all come here very hurting people. Some are worse off, some better. But all sensitive to different things.

2. I hope before I lash out at someone, I can look at what I think and ask myself, Is what I am about to say hurtful or helpful to the other person. We may not be responsible for how other people react to what we say, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be careful about what we say.

3. How would I react if someone said it to me in that fashion.

4. If I'm offended, can I take a few minutes to calm down before I talk straight from the cuff. Is this person trying to help? Have they helped me in the past? Am I over-reacting because of something in my past? Should I even respond? Will it do any good? Or can I vent in a personally non-confrontative way? Maybe I should go to someone I trust and ask thier opinion privately.

I choose to believe that no one here would intentionally hurt me. Have I felt hurt by someone here? Of course I have. Did I want to strike back to some perceived attack. Yes, and I have in the chat. And then had to feel guilty later.

I hope I can do all of these things. But I'm human. I'll slip up. And I hope when I do, you'll forgive me.

Peace,

Marc

 

[yesac76]

I will have to remember those steps for when I have to react in my personal life. Thank you!
Casey

 

[crisispoint]

No truer words were spoken, Marc.

I'll have to remember them myself.

Thank you for pointing out what should be obvious, even to guys like me.

Peace and love,

Scot

 

[Bill_1965]

We are all human. We all have emotions. We all get upset. We all get hurt. No need to hurt others just because we get upset.

Respect your emotions and those of others.

Bill

 

[Brayton]

I often experience distorted thinking. It is yet another result of the abuse I experienced. When that happens I can hear even the most well meant comment as offensive. Consequently, when I feel hurt or defensive I try to mentally check out my reaction.

I hope if anyone here feels that I have written something hurtful that they will feel comfortable PMing me. I am glad to respond and will not feel defensive.

I think that it is okay to ask for clarification even when we feel we can assume that everyone has our best interests at heart.

For me, that's just one more step in my recovery.