I'm back, if that's ok
Hello everyone. I've been gone quite awhile, it is a long story that I won't delve deeply into. But I have a confession to make and would like to ask for forgiveness from the group of guys here. To be honest, in the past I wasn't always totally truthful and for that I am truly sorry. And by not being totally truthful I hurt some people here that I truly did and do care about, nothing I can say can take back what I did, all I can do is admit my failings and ask for forgiveness. I don't feel I am worthy of forgiveness, and I know that some of you probably hate me, and that is alright, it matches how I feel about myself.
I have been terrified to come back, and still am, but I feel I need someplace to be around people who understand the things I have gone through. I don't understand it all myself, I often feel totally lost and alone. I am in therapy, have been for a little over a year now.
Here is the truth about me, consider it a kind of introduction. I'm Scott, I'm 21 years old, I was abused physically, emotionally, and sexually by many people from as early as I can remember until I was about 17. I have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder, and according to my therapist have at least 20 alter personalities. The middle of last year I got a Personal Protection Order against one of my abusers, and he is now in jail, over the weekend he broke the order and came after me, he is being held for breaking the order and I am having him charged with assault for coming after me now.
I have been "lurking" for just a couple of weeks, I have felt totally lost and needed to "be around" people who understand.
This New Year hit me really hard, like a 300 pound runing back. I have looked inside myself and have found many things I do not like, and I am changing them, I have changed some, and continue to work on others, this New Year was just an epiphany for me, I never would have admitted these things before but I feel I need to, I need to "come clean" and I would like to stay here and give and recieve support, if that is ok with the guys here.
It is true what they say "confession is good for the soul." Just writing this feels like a wieght has been lifted off of me, thanks for anyone who reads this, I hope it wasn't too confusing, and I hope it is ok that I come back.
Humbly yours,
Scott
I have been terrified to come back, and still am, but I feel I need someplace to be around people who understand the things I have gone through. I don't understand it all myself, I often feel totally lost and alone. I am in therapy, have been for a little over a year now.
Here is the truth about me, consider it a kind of introduction. I'm Scott, I'm 21 years old, I was abused physically, emotionally, and sexually by many people from as early as I can remember until I was about 17. I have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder, and according to my therapist have at least 20 alter personalities. The middle of last year I got a Personal Protection Order against one of my abusers, and he is now in jail, over the weekend he broke the order and came after me, he is being held for breaking the order and I am having him charged with assault for coming after me now.
I have been "lurking" for just a couple of weeks, I have felt totally lost and needed to "be around" people who understand.
This New Year hit me really hard, like a 300 pound runing back. I have looked inside myself and have found many things I do not like, and I am changing them, I have changed some, and continue to work on others, this New Year was just an epiphany for me, I never would have admitted these things before but I feel I need to, I need to "come clean" and I would like to stay here and give and recieve support, if that is ok with the guys here.
It is true what they say "confession is good for the soul." Just writing this feels like a wieght has been lifted off of me, thanks for anyone who reads this, I hope it wasn't too confusing, and I hope it is ok that I come back.
Humbly yours,
Scott
