I'm (almost) Back
Photoman
Registrant
I haven’t posted anything for quite a while but have kept up reading all the posts on here. My wife was sick for about a year and I lost her May 7th. It’s been really tough, after 31 years together, the loss I have felt and the grief I’m going through is about all I can take. I lost my daughter a year and a half ago and now my wife. I feel SO alone now. The remaining 2 boys I have are busy with their lives and I can’t rely on them for much comfort. They know nothing about my CSA and I’m not sure if I will ever tell them. I guess I don’t want them to look back at their early years and over think ‘if’ I did something inappropriate, which I know I didn’t.
Reading your posts have kept my mind off a lot of this stuff and many times I wanted to chime in, but was afraid for some reason to do it. All I can do is muddle thru and take it day by day.
For the newbies in the last few months, welcome. I felt each and every ones pain, even cried at a few of their stories. But then again, crying is a normal thing for me now. But I hope to get back to connecting with you guys on here, you have helped me so much during my ‘facing’ what happened to me as a little boy. Just telling my story and getting it out really helped the most for me. My wife was the only one I ever told about what happened to me until I told it on here. She was supportive but didn’t like me bringing it up or talking much about it for some reason. She said it hurt her heart knowing someone did that to me and she didn’t want any details. Details were what I really needed to discuss so she wasn’t much help. I guess that’s why I unloaded and maybe put too many details in my story but it was the first time I had really ‘spilled’ my guts. Even then, there was stuff I remembered after writing the story. Maybe for another post later on.
I’d love to find a T but in the area I live in it’s out of the question because I live so far away from a fairly large town or city. Thank you for being here when I need you. I felt love and acceptance when I joined and don’t want to lose that. So guys, you’re all I got now.
Reading your posts have kept my mind off a lot of this stuff and many times I wanted to chime in, but was afraid for some reason to do it. All I can do is muddle thru and take it day by day.
For the newbies in the last few months, welcome. I felt each and every ones pain, even cried at a few of their stories. But then again, crying is a normal thing for me now. But I hope to get back to connecting with you guys on here, you have helped me so much during my ‘facing’ what happened to me as a little boy. Just telling my story and getting it out really helped the most for me. My wife was the only one I ever told about what happened to me until I told it on here. She was supportive but didn’t like me bringing it up or talking much about it for some reason. She said it hurt her heart knowing someone did that to me and she didn’t want any details. Details were what I really needed to discuss so she wasn’t much help. I guess that’s why I unloaded and maybe put too many details in my story but it was the first time I had really ‘spilled’ my guts. Even then, there was stuff I remembered after writing the story. Maybe for another post later on.
I’d love to find a T but in the area I live in it’s out of the question because I live so far away from a fairly large town or city. Thank you for being here when I need you. I felt love and acceptance when I joined and don’t want to lose that. So guys, you’re all I got now.