I'm afraid
The last two days have been(to put it mildly)unbearable emotionally in that i am in a new relationship with a sweetheart of a lady.Anyway we have "played around"....But "i cannot cum"....I was abused as a child sexually by two different people and seeing that i am in recovery from alcoholism(over 4 years sober)and booze is simply not an option at all for me.I am afraid if i tell her i will in fact "push her away"...things are/have been going really well until we are in the bedroom and i just can't seem to relax enough to enjoy it,she turns me on,i have told her this.I do however watch aalot of porn and when i do am very easily(always)able to get off.I am talking about this here in that maybe i will have the courage to tell her(and not anytime time soon either)down the road.If this continues what am i supposed to do...it's not something that comes up over coffee.I've not been with anyone at all since i have been sober and although i am in therapy and scared to death to even tell my therapist(it's 1 AM here in massachusetts) who i just called and left a message what i am talking about here.I don't know what to do,not the least of which unable to sleep as a result(s)of friggin wanting to enjoy "it"...but yet she turns me on,i always feel safe and more importantly I TRUST HER...i am scared to death in telling her of what might happen,i know i am projecting but i'm also looking out for her feelings as well as my own.Does ANYONE have any advice/help/support because god knows i am to weak to tell the very person i trust and yet unable to allow her to vknow why i am having such a hard fuckin time as a possible result of keeping my mouth shut therefore it's a secret and i thought i didn't