I'm afraid

I'm afraid
The last two days have been(to put it mildly)unbearable emotionally in that i am in a new relationship with a sweetheart of a lady.Anyway we have "played around"....But "i cannot cum"....I was abused as a child sexually by two different people and seeing that i am in recovery from alcoholism(over 4 years sober)and booze is simply not an option at all for me.I am afraid if i tell her i will in fact "push her away"...things are/have been going really well until we are in the bedroom and i just can't seem to relax enough to enjoy it,she turns me on,i have told her this.I do however watch aalot of porn and when i do am very easily(always)able to get off.I am talking about this here in that maybe i will have the courage to tell her(and not anytime time soon either)down the road.If this continues what am i supposed to do...it's not something that comes up over coffee.I've not been with anyone at all since i have been sober and although i am in therapy and scared to death to even tell my therapist(it's 1 AM here in massachusetts) who i just called and left a message what i am talking about here.I don't know what to do,not the least of which unable to sleep as a result(s)of friggin wanting to enjoy "it"...but yet she turns me on,i always feel safe and more importantly I TRUST HER...i am scared to death in telling her of what might happen,i know i am projecting but i'm also looking out for her feelings as well as my own.Does ANYONE have any advice/help/support because god knows i am to weak to tell the very person i trust and yet unable to allow her to vknow why i am having such a hard fuckin time as a possible result of keeping my mouth shut therefore it's a secret and i thought i didn't
 
thecoopstah,

I've been a member of Alcoholics Anonymous for 18 years. I've been in your shoes about 10 years ago. Don't tell her anything about it (unless you get married, 'cause it will be OK since she married you after experiencing this issue and loves you anyway.) I would also talk about it to your AA sponsor if you're an AA member - do you have one? AND/OR talk about it at a AA meeting helps too. Last but not least, you can always lie and say its "my medication" - for example - most anti-depressant medicines affect the "T1" nerve along the "T1" vertebrae of the spine and can cause big time delayed climaxes. Just tell her its that. Plus, you could always see your doctor and try Viagra for a while. You'll get past this. (Remember that old saying, "Action makes for success".)

Sincerely,

Chairman201
 
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