Trafficking and Commercial Exploitation If you're watching it

Trafficking and Commercial Exploitation If you're watching it

Toad

Registrant
I just need to say this.
If you are having urges to abuse a child.
Or are watching child porn.
Please get help.
Talk to your therapist about it.
Tell them it is just "hypothetical" if you need to.
But please get help.

It may seem to you just to be a little boy having sex. It is not.
You could be watching me.
I wasn't having sex.
It was rape.
I was being raped.
I still suffer every day because of this.
It is made so that people will watch it.

If you watch it you are watching me or someone like me be raped and the pain keeps going.

So please, do whatever it takes to stop.
Get whatever help you can.
But please stop watching.
 
If you watch it you are watching me or someone like me be raped and the pain keeps going.
Thank you Toad. You are speaking for me here too.
Please treat yourself with gentleness.
 
Thank you Toad. This message was well put. and I understand what it is like to be raped I was raped twice, once at age 9 1/2 then again as a teen.
 
Well said, Toad. I've often wished child molesters and pedophiles could spend ten minutes experiencing the soul-crushing pain and misery they bring to their victims. I like to think they would never engage in these behaviors or watch those type of images again.
 
I think it would be very good for those who watch or look at this images to understand and experience want childhood hell is like to live as an adult.
 
same here I second that, I know a person who was filmed by their abuser, if you're watching you're perpetuating
 
I feel thous who watch or look at pictures need help, they don't need to be put in prison for years. If you make the films you need to go to prison for a very long time. Thou who look are not mentally well and need help to get better.
 
I am aware of the post in which this issue originally came up and we immediately killed that thread as soon as we became aware of it. The safety of our registrants is our absolute highest priority. Everything you have said, @Toad, is heart-rending.
 
Thank you everyone for your support during a difficult time for me.


Thank you @C. E. (Chase Eric)
I wasn't going to mention that thread because I didn't want to upset anyone and it had been erased.
But I appreciate you mentioning it.
I know that people watch child porn.
But it is them. Someone out there doing it.
Not someone commenting here.
I assume they must of been drunk or high when they posted that.
But I can't wrap my head around anyone being on here and seeing the pain and hurt it causes and the years of work we spend trying to recover from it, and then a few hours later reading my survivor story and getting off on it, or enjoying watching "little boys have sex"

I am trying not to freak out and erase everything I have written. I erased quite a bit but then stopped.
But I am still struggling.
 
Dearest Toad,
I had no idea that your post arose due to a different thread. Over the several yet few years that I’ve been here, having already seen at least one of what I assume (perhaps incorrectly) is the same thing, it is quite disturbing indeed. It’s even destabilizing, which is so much worse.

What we’ve all survived through, just doesn’t have appropriate words in any language.

I hope you can find peace and stability again, and quickly. You’re safe here and among friends. And that means you’re not alone, and surrounded by understanding.
 
I wasn't aware that thread was out there. I am SO glad I haven't seen it. I am so very sorry you did though Toad. Things like that throw me into flashbacks. I can't imagine what it did to you.
 
I didn't see the thread, either. I'm very thankful I did not.

A shout out to the moderators for handling that crap. I don't envy your job. Thank you.

A shout out to Toad for having the courage to post this thread and others for sharing. Thank you. I agree wholeheartedly with what you've said and just maybe this discussion reached someone who needs to see it to understand that viewing that type of material perpetuates and celebrates abuse and rape.

And others may need to see that there is no shame on those who were photographed or abused in this way. I was photographed while being abused, as well. The perp said he destroyed the photos, but since he is a vile person in so many other ways I doubt I can accept his word on this point.

If anyone has seen those photos and taken any pleasure from it, I hope they think about what type of person enjoys watching children be abused and ask themselves if that is the type of person they want to be.
 
Is that poster still with us? Or has he been banned?
I've seen that poster post since that thread. I believe he is still here.

Thank you for sharing Toad. As someone with a history of being trafficked, I appreciate what you said, very much.
 
Thanks everyone for the support.

I have decided to take a bit of time off.
I have been wanting to take a step back from the internet and try to spend more time present in real life.

So I am going to unplug for a bit.
I want to focus on playing music, painting, reading books of paper, writing, hiking...
It is time to reclaim my life.

Thanks again for all of your support.

-Toad
 
Taking time off to do those activities sounds like a healthy choice.

It's upsetting to me to hear about what happened. I recently posted some details in the story section and I am now considering taking parts of it down. I was photographed and filmed and I don't want to give anyone the opportunity to get off on something I wrote.
 
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