I would like to share my testimony of faith with those who want to read it

TIW84Ky

Registrant
Trigger warning winded raw straight from the heart religious views


My statement of faith
My journey Of Faith actually started on a cold January day (1/18/2020) in 2020 when I saw someone who triggered what I can only describe as a major post traumatic stress episode I was shaking and crying and I kept repeating to myself he’s dead surely he’s dead this guy looked so much like a man who accosted me as a child I would wind up going home and the episode only worsened I remember I started to pray I said lord I don’t know what is going on or why I am reacting this way but I need help I can’t take this on my own this is too much and wile I was praying and crying so much I was blinded I started typing on my phone in documents I could not even see what I was typing at all for the tears and after I finished typing wile in the middle of a prayer a since of calm came over me It felt as if god was hugging me and weeping with me


I would calm down from the episode in a few hours time it was after i calmed down that I looked at what I had blindly typed and realized I needed to have Jesus as my lord and savior so I asked him to move into my heart and later that morning i looked and I found the song I call bended knees on the phone screen it was at this moment I realized That this Jesus Person Was More then a simple human and I knew I had to place my faith in him and I chose To surrender my life in hole to him and I have been growing spiritually since

I am sadly unable to share the full scope of what God Has Done For Me because it would lbe triggering to those like me which is why I prayed asking God To Give Me A Gift That Would Allow me to articulate just what God Has Done For Me in a way that doesn’t deny the power of it and at age 35 I started to write spoken word and music the music came first and the spoken word was second but I believe that it was a gift of God As I Myself like Moses Am Far From Perfect and So Flawed that I feel completely unworthy of being even so much as considered for salvation but the beautiful thing is that salvation is a free gift and we do not deserve it but God Will Freely Give It to all who ask and repent of their sins and place their faith in Jesus Christ

I am now attending church at a sot and despite that I am focused on drawing closer to the I can’t help but laugh at satan when I think about how a place He meant for deep personal hurt and trauma has become a place of healing and hope to the world i know if I was not a Christian I would not be here today


I mainly want people to look at me and see that God is the only reason why I can return to a sight of deep hurt and trauma And that I do not deserve a nano ounce of credit for how I am healing I wanna close with a poem I Wrote



LMy story
I suffered great loss till I turned to the cross
I asked Jesus in he made a end to my sin
When I gave Christ My Heart He gave me a fresh start
They say i should hate I won’t take their bait
I choose to forgive because I want to truly live
Christ’s Love so vast let’s me outlast
When I’m at the end of my rope in Christ I hope
 

MO-Survivor

Staff member
Trigger warning winded raw straight from the heart religious views


My statement of faith
My journey Of Faith actually started on a cold January day (1/18/2020) in 2020 when I saw someone who triggered what I can only describe as a major post traumatic stress episode I was shaking and crying and I kept repeating to myself he’s dead surely he’s dead this guy looked so much like a man who accosted me as a child I would wind up going home and the episode only worsened I remember I started to pray I said lord I don’t know what is going on or why I am reacting this way but I need help I can’t take this on my own this is too much and wile I was praying and crying so much I was blinded I started typing on my phone in documents I could not even see what I was typing at all for the tears and after I finished typing wile in the middle of a prayer a since of calm came over me It felt as if god was hugging me and weeping with me


I would calm down from the episode in a few hours time it was after i calmed down that I looked at what I had blindly typed and realized I needed to have Jesus as my lord and savior so I asked him to move into my heart and later that morning i looked and I found the song I call bended knees on the phone screen it was at this moment I realized That this Jesus Person Was More then a simple human and I knew I had to place my faith in him and I chose To surrender my life in hole to him and I have been growing spiritually since

I am sadly unable to share the full scope of what God Has Done For Me because it would lbe triggering to those like me which is why I prayed asking God To Give Me A Gift That Would Allow me to articulate just what God Has Done For Me in a way that doesn’t deny the power of it and at age 35 I started to write spoken word and music the music came first and the spoken word was second but I believe that it was a gift of God As I Myself like Moses Am Far From Perfect and So Flawed that I feel completely unworthy of being even so much as considered for salvation but the beautiful thing is that salvation is a free gift and we do not deserve it but God Will Freely Give It to all who ask and repent of their sins and place their faith in Jesus Christ

I am now attending church at a sot and despite that I am focused on drawing closer to the I can’t help but laugh at satan when I think about how a place He meant for deep personal hurt and trauma has become a place of healing and hope to the world i know if I was not a Christian I would not be here today


I mainly want people to look at me and see that God is the only reason why I can return to a sight of deep hurt and trauma And that I do not deserve a nano ounce of credit for how I am healing I wanna close with a poem I Wrote



LMy story
I suffered great loss till I turned to the cross
I asked Jesus in he made a end to my sin
When I gave Christ My Heart He gave me a fresh start
They say i should hate I won’t take their bait
I choose to forgive because I want to truly live
Christ’s Love so vast let’s me outlast
When I’m at the end of my rope in Christ I hope
@TimothyWestLouKy, thank you for sharing this part of yourself here. Much respect and kudos. I, too, feel much the same in terms of my journey of healing. God had his hand on me as a young boy, was my best friend, and my only friend growing up who I could talk to about what was happening to me. I would see movies of Jesus and longed to be there in history when he walked the earth. I was raised Catholic, and was not exposed to the Protestant gospel of grace and faith - until my Sr. year of high school. That was when the pieces started to get put together. I had people ask me (offensively, I felt at the time), "When did you become a Christian?" For me it was a different process, and I was finally able to look back at a time when I was 11 or 12 and told God with all my heart, "Whatever you want me to do in this life, that's what I want to do." To me that is a purer moment of asking him to come into my life than saying a prayer of salvation. He has guided my steps ever since, except when I have done something stupid on my own. And even in those moments of stupidity, I have found mercy and grace.

This site has people from all backgrounds and faiths. It has people who have been deeply hurt by church members or church leaders. It has people who have strong faiths - of all different types - that have been helped immensely by those faiths. There certainly isn't always agreement in terms of what (if anything) to believe, there is a respect for each other, regardless. There is also, generally, an acceptance that faith journeys have helped many men through this trauma of CSA to help them find peace. And all that - I appreciate very much.

Thank you for sharing.
 

betrayed boy

Staff member
im glad you found the path in life that comforts and guides you
 
Powerfully moving testimony. Thank you so much,

TimothyWestLouKy

faith in God, faith in Jesus - God with us - has also helped me. Sometimes in life we need "Jesus with skin on" i.e. flesh and blood people who empathize and help us on our way... but, ultimately, it is our faith that promotes healing... God loves you and God wants us to share our truth in love. Thanks for sharing your story. You are an inspiration. Peace
 

TIW84Ky

Registrant
I honestly don’t view myself or my testimony as inspirational but I have realized that I need to speak God’s Truth into my life every single moment and I have to tell myself Tim Your Are not a failure and I have to subdue my thoughts and make them bond servants to Jesus I chose to do this by saying these feelings are real but They Are not Who Christ Says I Am and He Says Tim You Are In My Hands and precious in my sight and I love you so much that I died in your place so in me you can truly live
 
Powerfully moving testimony. Thank you so much,

TimothyWestLouKy

faith in God, faith in Jesus - God with us - has also helped me. Sometimes in life we need "Jesus with skin on" i.e. flesh and blood people who empathize and help us on our way... but, ultimately, it is our faith that promotes healing... God loves you and God wants us to share our truth in love. Thanks for sharing your story. You are an inspiration. Peace
In his book Disappointment with God, Phillip Yancey talks about the different ways God has related to His people over time: burning bush, fire/cloud, dwelt on a mountain, through the prophets, then the kings, in the flesh and finally through the Body of Christ - or as you say "Jesus with Skin on'. My faith has been a point of deep conflict as I have wrestled with why God let my CSA happen. But as I have experienced Him directly a few times and more often through others I have gradually healed.
 
Your Are not a failure and I have to subdue my thoughts and make them bond servants to Jesus I chose to do this by saying these feelings are real but They Are not Who Christ Says I Am and He Says Tim You Are In My Hands and precious in my sight and I love you so much that I died in your place so in me you can truly live
Thank you for these true words that set us free to live in love - to know, to really know in the core of our being, that we are indeed loved and not to believe the lies that being raped teach us. Our minds take the shape of what we think about. Our thoughts and our thought patterns can become chronic and compelling. Thoughts that are dark or sinister assault our peace. Thoughts that don't proceed from faith are sin. We need to take our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. 2Corinthians 10:3-5 As we think, so we are.
 
Top