I was a victim of “date rape”

Bman89

Registrant
Long story short . I accepted a beer, fast forward two hours later I awake to the abuser performing fellatio on me. It took me a week to tell anyone and even longer to tell police. I have been granted a temp. Restraining order. The detectives asked if I want to press charges but warned it would be a long drawn out thorough process that might not result in things going my way (no evidence) . Does anyone have any personal experiences about pressing charges ? Pursuing a criminal case? I doubt anything will come of it and I’m worried about my abuser using his wealth to come after me in the courts .
 
I am so sorry for what happened to you. I hate that before you even start, you are warned that the justice system is stacked against you.
 

wvsurvivor

Registrant
Long story short . I accepted a beer, fast forward two hours later I awake to the abuser performing fellatio on me. It took me a week to tell anyone and even longer to tell police. I have been granted a temp. Restraining order. The detectives asked if I want to press charges but warned it would be a long drawn out thorough process that might not result in things going my way (no evidence) . Does anyone have any personal experiences about pressing charges ? Pursuing a criminal case? I doubt anything will come of it and I’m worried about my abuser using his wealth to come after me in the courts .
Even in this day it may be a uphill battle. This place besides my wife a a few close friends are the only times I talk about my past. I know from being abused by a cop how stacked the legal system is. Reporting abuse again in my teen years cemented my knowledge how against us the system is especially if the person has friends in the system since the system is corrupt they cover up for friends. Maybe a civil lawsuit would be better as at least you can end up with some cash for the ordeal you can use for your needs in the future. I went to police in high school in a town other than mine only to have the cop I was reported on showing up to pick me up. I dropped it real fast when I was threatened with being charged for killing my parents after the cop did it to shut me up. If he has that much money I would try to get some of it and I would start by looking up civil cases with his name attached.
 

Sherlock

Registrant
I'm sorry you experienced this. Possibly look into a protective order? I don't know much but it seems more likely your offender would get arrested if they violated a protective order as opposed to a restraining order. I'm not incredibly knowledgeable, however. I wish you luck.
 

Bman89

Registrant
Thanks for your help guys, I have a hearing about the protective order coming up on the 10th. I hired a lawyer so I hope it goes well. I honestly don't even want money. I just want this person to be exposed for what they are which is a criminal and a sexual predator/deviant and for him to never have the right to contact me . I have also decided to pursue criminal charges.
 

jaysean

Registrant
I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I had the same experience when I was 13. Worst memory I had.
 

Healing light

Registrant
I'm sorry that you have faced this
I pressed charges against my abusers that resulted in convictions it was a hard road an uphill battle but they were exposed for what they are
I wish you well in your healing journey
Peace
HL
 

Hoping4Peace

Registrant
Your abuser might well be a serial offender. To drug someone means it was premeditated. If he is a repeat offender, then the police will have a record. I wonder if making a formal complaint will go on his record and then help him get marked a repeat sex offender? I don't know the system.

Did he show remorse? Would he agree to conselling if you don't file charges?

Many people are a mixed bag of darkness and light, and some are remorseful and willing to change, but are trapped in a viscious cycle.

I have to admit, that when I am in that sex crazed 'testosterone in control' state, I no longer make rational desicions, and while I never act it out on others, I sometimes do things online or to myself that I feel deeply ashamed about - as soon as the ejaculation happens, it is like an instant switch of sanity comes on, and I feel so abased. I resolve never to do it again, as I see it as infidelity to my wife, but I fail again and again, a few times a year. So if your abuser is like that, and if he feels deep remorse, then he can potentially be worked with. He needs counseling and also probably a willing sex partner- I am fine when the wife is not ill and when I am at home and not travelling. But if not, I need to wank one out regularly for protection, so as to not stray into the darkness.

Don't blame yourself. You are obviously a desirable man, so be careful, as it is dangerous out there.
 
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