I stopped reading your initial post likely because I have spent time along the way writing pornography about sex with underage girls. I've learned it isn't healthy for me to slip into the voyeur stance. I'm aware that even when I wrote what I called "My Story" about the experiences I've had that I amped up the sexual charge inherent in the story. Of course, I'm a survivor of early sexual trauma, so on some level I've been sexualized which means I have trouble finding a healthy relationship to my own feelings and my own experience. The deeper I open to it the clearer my own pain is seen. There was really nothing titillating about any of it even when my body was experiencing sexual pleasure. The body does that regardless of how much pain there is in the psyche, or how far I've gone from my own soul. Yes, it is important to tell the truth about what happened to us AND it is important to recognize what trauma does to us. Hopefully this exploration will serve your healing Eagle. That is what we're all here to do.