I want to help but don't know how
Hello!!
I don't even know how to begin. This is the first time I've been exposed to this kind of situation and I am clueless on what to do. I met this guy about a year ago who I love very much. He always acted like he had feelings for me. However, when we got close to eachother he told me he couldn't be my boyfriend because he wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. About two weeks ago, I found out that he had been sexually abused by his father when he was a child. He said the abuse went on for two years. He also said his father raped him but not in a violent way. His brother was also raped. He also told me he went to counseling and had seen a therapist for very long. After that he said that he wished he could feel something for somebody but that he can't. He says he feels empty inside and that he wishes he could at least feel pain. I don't understand this. I know he has feelings for me but he can't let them out. He's a sweet guy and I am in love with him and I want to help him in anyway I can. I bought him a teddy bear and a bunny and he was touched. He said it was the first time anybody ever gave him stuffed animals and he hugged them very strongly. I've also noticed that he has started to pet my cats. They seem to love him too. I know he enjoys it. Everytime I see him with them, he looks like a child smiling. I just wish I could reach him somehow because I really love him but I am afraid too because I am 32 and he is 27 and I don't know if it's the right thing to do (as he would put it). Please help me! I don't know how to act when I am around him and I want to hug him and kiss him but I am afraid that is only going to push him away from me and I don't want to act like his father did but I know so little about it that it's really hard. I do know that his father has never been punished for what he did and he is coming to visit him in a month and I am really afraid it's going to hurt him to see this person again.
thanks.
I don't even know how to begin. This is the first time I've been exposed to this kind of situation and I am clueless on what to do. I met this guy about a year ago who I love very much. He always acted like he had feelings for me. However, when we got close to eachother he told me he couldn't be my boyfriend because he wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. About two weeks ago, I found out that he had been sexually abused by his father when he was a child. He said the abuse went on for two years. He also said his father raped him but not in a violent way. His brother was also raped. He also told me he went to counseling and had seen a therapist for very long. After that he said that he wished he could feel something for somebody but that he can't. He says he feels empty inside and that he wishes he could at least feel pain. I don't understand this. I know he has feelings for me but he can't let them out. He's a sweet guy and I am in love with him and I want to help him in anyway I can. I bought him a teddy bear and a bunny and he was touched. He said it was the first time anybody ever gave him stuffed animals and he hugged them very strongly. I've also noticed that he has started to pet my cats. They seem to love him too. I know he enjoys it. Everytime I see him with them, he looks like a child smiling. I just wish I could reach him somehow because I really love him but I am afraid too because I am 32 and he is 27 and I don't know if it's the right thing to do (as he would put it). Please help me! I don't know how to act when I am around him and I want to hug him and kiss him but I am afraid that is only going to push him away from me and I don't want to act like his father did but I know so little about it that it's really hard. I do know that his father has never been punished for what he did and he is coming to visit him in a month and I am really afraid it's going to hurt him to see this person again.
thanks.