I want Justce ................

I want Justce ................
J

JK

Registrant
for that 12 year old boy who was neglected and abused by his parents so he had no one to go to when he was repeatedly molested and physically beaten for over a year by his 18 yr. old sister.

He had no one then , now he has himself and all I can think about to the point where it has consumed my every thought is to get JUSTICE .

I know as sure as I'm typing this that I will never get better until I get JUSTICE for me , without it I do not want to live anymore .

What has been your experience with CONFRONTATION of the PERP ?

What Justice has anyone here realized ?

Thanks , Jack

PS : I'm getting worse , much more depressed and the rage is boiling over......
 
Jack, I'm very sorry for what you went through and how it's making you feel now. :(

I often feel as if there's something wrong with me because I don't feel any anger. I know it's not healthy. I haven't ever felt anger towards those who abused me (with the exception of my mother, but I was angry at her for reasons other than my abuse) and I don't know if I've ever really blamed them, at least not properly. I guess it all comes back to "it's my fault." I guess I can't be angry at them because I am angry at myself for letting it happen. :confused:
 
for that 12 year old boy who was neglected and abused by his parents so he had no one to go to when he was repeatedly molested and physically beaten for over a year by his 18 yr. old sister.
Click to expand...
Jack, Little Victor had no one to go to either, as he was incested & physically abused by both parents and sexually abused by other relatives & friends of his mother from ages 1-11. We empathize with you & hurt with you. :(

He had no one then , now he has himself and all I can think about to the point where it has consumed my every thought is to get JUSTICE .

I know as sure as I'm typing this that I will never get better until I get JUSTICE for me , without it I do not want to live anymore .
Click to expand...
Jack if this is what you feel & believe then you should do what it takes to pursue justice, carefully & in a way that will be empowering & healing for you.
jupi.gif


What has been your experience with CONFRONTATION of the PERP ?
Click to expand...
Not much really. The only perp I even know is alive is my mother, my primary perp. I did
"confront" her in therapy sessions (2 chair Gestalt therapy). I completely broke what erratic contact I had with her when I started recalling my abuse about 2 years ago. She continued to contact me and finally asked why I wasn't writing back & stuff. So I sent a note asking her to please not contact me anymore.

I guess the only "justice" I want at this point is for that narcisstic incestuous bitch to leave me alone! :mad:

Tho I wouldn't rule out legal action against her or any of my other perps. Just haven't really pursued it yet.

Here's an excellent article on "Disclosure and Confrontation" by Ken Singer:

https://www.malesurvivor.org/Survivors/Adult%20Survivors/Articles/singer3.htm

What Justice has anyone here realized ?
Click to expand...
Right now for me justice consists of living the best life I can in spite of what my perps did to me. :cool:

Thanks , Jack

PS : I'm getting worse , much more depressed and the rage is boiling over......
Click to expand...
Jack such depression & rage are understandable and I do relate to it. I suffer severe clinical depression & certainly have my share of rage.
idea.gif

Talk it out, vent it out, let it out, friend. Release it however you can & need to in any way that won't hurt you or anyone else. If this means getting the justice you need go for it.

Take care.

Victor
 
What has been your experience with CONFRONTATION of the PERP ?

What Justice has anyone here realized ?
Click to expand...
These for me are vary hard to express

When i confrunted my abuse the first time !

I Called my grandfather and confronted him by telling him that he had 72 hours before i was going to tell Grandma he laughed and srugged it off.

I followed through with a letter to my grandmother i got a call about a week later with her screaming @ me telling me that all this was a lie and my mother put me up too this and that her husband ( my grandfather ) would never do such a thing mind you he had alread admitted that he had with my mother and aunt

But i was a boy my uncles and every body from that side pushed me away

The only justis i recieved is when i went and pissed on his grave (not litterly but you know i was tempted )

now i have little to no contact with that family my aunt one how did believe me said it was a good thing i confrunted him

for the life of me i don't now why but i am hear again 13 years later strugglinmg with this once more and i cant confrunt him or her since the are buried

Justice and vengence for me were so intertwind i don't know if it was health our not

Confused & alone

Jason
 
Thanks for the replys , I feel very strongly that for me to get better and become productive in my life I have to get justice for what was stolen from me .

I have started drafting a letter to my perpetrator ( older sister) using the 5 step model found here on MS .

https://www.malesurvivor.org/Survivors/Adult%20Survivors/Articles/singer3.htm

The first step directly accuses the perp of the abuse , I was specific w/o getting raunchy . Its important to destroy the perps illusion that nothing happened.

The second step outlines the consequenses that the abuse had , here again I was specific and showed that bitch how she has ruined my life.

Thats all I've done so far , tonight I will try for step 3 .

Once I'm done I will post it here for my brothers to see and comment on , I am determined to shine the light of day on her horrible acts.

Thanks again ,

Jack
 
The only justis i recieved is when i went and pissed on his grave (not litterly but you know i was tempted )
Click to expand...
piss.gif
;)

The below is an excerpt from Ken Singer's outstanding article to which Jack refers in his response to you:

"There are also ways to symbolically confront an abuser who is dead, missing or otherwise unavailable for confrontation. These symbolic confrontations may be done in a support group or individually with a trusted therapist. Visiting the grave of a dead perpetrator and speaking to the headstone has been healing for some survivors. One client of mine took a few personal effects (a scarf and seductive photo) of his deceased mother/perpetrator and burned them on her grave. Many therapists are experienced in use of symbolic acts for healing and can be a resource for this kind of confrontation."

Hey Jason even if you did it symbolically it was potentially a healing act of confrontation for you. You could always try it again too if you need to, either symbolically in your mind or as a symbolic act.

now i have little to no contact with that family my aunt one how did believe me said it was a good thing i confrunted him
Click to expand...
Who knows why it was a good thing? Maybe for you?
Maybe for her? Maybe for some other relatives he might otherwise have abused or abused more?

for the life of me i don't now why but i am hear again 13 years later strugglinmg with this once more and i cant confrunt him or her since the are buried
Click to expand...
When you are ready to Jason, there are lots of ways you could do it, your choice man.

In the thread "My Major Breakthrough" you can read
if you want about how last year I "confronted" my mother in Gestalt/2 chair therapy sessions.

Justice and vengence for me were so intertwind i don't know if it was health our not

Confused & alone

Jason
Click to expand...
Jason maybe just being able to do it was healthy and will help you do it again if & when & how you might need to.

victor
 
Thanks for the replys , I feel very strongly that for me to get better and become productive in my life I have to get justice for what was stolen from me.
Click to expand...
Thanks for starting this thread Jack. It may help us all do something like this or whatever we need to do sometime.

I have started drafting a letter to my perpetrator ( older sister) using the 5 step model found here on MS .

https://www.malesurvivor.org/Survivors/Adult%20Survivors/Articles/singer3.htm

Once I'm done I will post it here for my brothers to see and comment on , I am determined to shine the light of day on her horrible acts.

Thanks again ,

Jack
Click to expand...
Thank you Jack I look forward to reading it. I'm sure it will be of help to me.

So far the most I've done is sent my mother a note after this past Christmas telling her not to contact us anymore becuz its too painful on account of stuff I remembered from childhood.

To each our own way in our own time.

Take care.

Victor
 
Josh, if you were here with my I would give you a gentle slug on the arm. In other words, I am miffed with you! Not for long though.

Josh, you know that nothing of what happened to you is your fault, nothing. Even the fire was your way of screaming for help.

Josh, incidently you are not a "sick little puppy", I hope you change that name soon. What happened to you were atrocities--that is no exaggeration. People who do to you what was done to you, in battle, are tried for crimes against humankind.

There are a lot of reasons why you might be suppressing your feelings of rage. If you are a reader, I suggest you go to the library and take out a book called ALONE AND FORGOTTEN, by Rod Tobin--he speaks rather clearly about that. I found it helpful. In reading Tobins book I realized that I can describe in great detail my many rapes--but I can't remember any feelings--none. I guess my therapist and I need to look at that.

But for now Josh, please don't say that you were to blame--if you were, we all were, and I can tell you firmly that I was not to blame for anything.

Peace to you friend.

Bob
 
Josh:
I agree with The Dean wholheartedly. It was never the fault of anyone here, you included, hear me.

You know I have been telling you about your handle for some time now. Sick you ain't little wolf. Hurt yes but we in the PACK can heal that with you. So, once again how about Wolf Pup.


aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhh0000000000
 
OK, so I say that we as Josh's wolf brothers should come up with a name for him. Treat it in the form of a poll.

First get some submissions and post them on a new thread.

Next, poll any 5 of those; A, B, C, D or E. Choices to be decided by our esteemed wolf sibling Josh.

The name with the most votes from these five, wins.

Winning submission gets the official, 'I was sexually abused as a child and all I got was this coffee mug' mug and a chance to appear on the next American Idol.

(OK Maybe not the American Idol appearance... or the coffee mug. How about just some undying gratitude?) :D

We love ya Josh! :)
 
Marc I am all for that.

We need names that truly identify sp and how he has progressed in the short time with us. As well because of his age that while he may be a puppy physically he is mature well beyond his age.


How about Grey young pup, Wise wolf, support wolf, big heart or just one great guy.
I would choose the last one. anyone else have thoughts.
 
I thought of a candidate name, and I wrote several paragraphs (yeah, me, imagine that :D ) before I noticed that Josh himself has not weighed in on the idea.

What's the verdict on the possible name change, Josh? Do you want to hear some ideas, or are you sticking with SP for now?

Later,

Joe
 
104.gif


What's in a name? That which we call a rose,
By any other name would smell as sweet.
----Wm. Shakespeare - Romeo and Juliet. Act ii. Sc. 2. 1
Click to expand...
https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001717
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top