i understand why people turn dark (side)Triggers
markgreyblue
Registrant
hey - today was really hard -
it maybe change my view of things - but not
to a horrible thing -
i cry a lot today - and i see myself - i have been an old man for a very long time - i saw it in the way i cried - i sounded like this old man i saw on tv - whispy breathy -
someone has said they loved me today and it touched me so
i cried - no one has said that to me in a long time -
i cried -
and then i realized so much of the past
comes in
and invades the good times -
when i start to feel ok - they invade -
execute and yell
destruction to him !
it was the scapegoat's life -
it hurts - but now i see -
how people turn dark - but to accept it is the wrong choice - it exists in us - it may be the part of us trying to survive the anguis and pain
and turn it into something that we 'get something' out of it - some kind of blindness
but now i realize that memories that come up
that perhaps my own creative mind predicting what would happen if this world were theirs - thank god it's not - thank god mostly good people in life - who can control the impulse to hurt others
and keep life - a good safe place - for life -
for good -
in the process of opening up to my own mind -
a sadistic copy now of my own predators - through their behavior my mind trained now to hurt me -
my own family - i see i am not them - even though the fuel could be turned outward - often turns in - now i see how it could become a weird source - GRATEFULLY - i was meant for other stuff-
and now although it is hard to accept the dark in others - i do see it in me - and I see that in and of itself is growth to the better of 'shining a light on what happens on a daily basis' to me
thanks for some grace i cannot know why it has
lead me here to you all -
and i am happy -
peace men -
mark
it maybe change my view of things - but not
to a horrible thing -
i cry a lot today - and i see myself - i have been an old man for a very long time - i saw it in the way i cried - i sounded like this old man i saw on tv - whispy breathy -
someone has said they loved me today and it touched me so
i cried - no one has said that to me in a long time -
i cried -
and then i realized so much of the past
comes in
and invades the good times -
when i start to feel ok - they invade -
execute and yell
destruction to him !
it was the scapegoat's life -
it hurts - but now i see -
how people turn dark - but to accept it is the wrong choice - it exists in us - it may be the part of us trying to survive the anguis and pain
and turn it into something that we 'get something' out of it - some kind of blindness
but now i realize that memories that come up
that perhaps my own creative mind predicting what would happen if this world were theirs - thank god it's not - thank god mostly good people in life - who can control the impulse to hurt others
and keep life - a good safe place - for life -
for good -
in the process of opening up to my own mind -
a sadistic copy now of my own predators - through their behavior my mind trained now to hurt me -
my own family - i see i am not them - even though the fuel could be turned outward - often turns in - now i see how it could become a weird source - GRATEFULLY - i was meant for other stuff-
and now although it is hard to accept the dark in others - i do see it in me - and I see that in and of itself is growth to the better of 'shining a light on what happens on a daily basis' to me
thanks for some grace i cannot know why it has
lead me here to you all -
and i am happy -
peace men -
mark