I took a plunge

[Grunty1967b]

By chance, I met a lady at my work this week that is doing research into childhood sexual abuse. There was an article about her and her work in our daily newspaper about 2 months ago.

Id thought about contacting her but didnt really know what Id do or say or what Id be prepared to say to I let it go. Then, as I said, she ended up being at my work this week. I see her several times throughout the day (our paths kept crossing). In the afternoon as we met again, she asked if she knew me from somewhere or if I knew her from somewhere.

I should backtrack a bit to the beginning of the day. I bumped into her first thing in the morning and overheard some of her discussion about her research. Reading between the lines I guessed what she was researching so I asked her if she was the lady in the article. She said yes.

So, back to late that same day when she asked if we know each other. Her familiar face (not from the article as there wasnt a picture of her) was annoying me too so I made a call to confirm my thoughts about if Id met her before and in what context.

As it turns out I had met her just the week before. She is the coordinator/boss at the rooms where I see my therapist.

When she asked where she knew me from I told her. The light went on. I then made my comment to her and the reason for this post really.

Understand Im now looking at myself several months down the track from when I first read her article about CSA. I asked her if I could be of assistance in her research. Basically I offered myself to be open to her for interviewing and case study stuff. In particular, her research is into how CSA affects those who are now adults. How does it affect their everyday lives now, their own families and what have they grown through or yet to get through.

I took the plunge and made myself available. I felt in a good place and able to cope with that. I figured that if I could help others then I would make that step.

Good or bad, Im not sure, but she was not able to accept my help. Being a client of her practice she ethically chose to not accept my help.

I still felt good about that whole thing though. I made my own decision to offer help, felt I could cope with it and put the offer out there. I didnt die and Im still ok days afterwards. No regrets. Just thoughts maybe of how could I have helped if I could have been part of the study. How would that have turned out

 

[phoster]

i have participated in two studies. i believe the more they know, the better they can help us. i think you did a good thing. thank you.

jeff

 

[roadrunner]

Grunty,

Like you, if I were asked to participate in a study I think I would agree. Like Jeff, I would feel that "the more they know, the better they can help us".

But as this is a subject that doesn't come up much on the site (or at least I don't recall seeing this recently), perhaps a word of caution is in order.

An engaging, friendly and well-meaning researcher can still come up with a study, experiment or interview that can be very distressing for a survivor who participates in it. A bad experience can be a major setback and cause all kinds of problems.

In fact, if memory serves there is something here on the site about Male Survivor NOT allowing any researcher to approach us for help or participation in a study unless the study is vetted by the MS professional research committee and unless the head of the study has made satisfactory arrangements for insurance and for post-study support for any participant who has an adverse reaction to it.

I don't mean to sound alarmist, but all this sounds like sound policy to me.

Much love,
Larry

 

[Grunty1967b]

Roadrunner,

Thanks for the caution on this topic to myself and others reading it.

I (must have progressed hey?) also knew at the time of reading the researchers first article that I wasnt up to participating. I didnt want to be a lab rat divulging troubling and private, even if anonymous details.

Im feeling more able to cope with recalling that stuff now although at what level of detail I dont know. Sometimes you wont know until to find yourself there.

I felt I could cope so I offered.

You also raise a good point about after-interview support. I dont think Id thought through that bit but its probably more akin to post counselling session time. Generally, youre numbed and just need some space.

Each to their own and certainly for those reading this, this wasnt about, hey hop on board, speak to researchers. Id say, dont speak to researchers, unless..

Its very powerful stuff. You have to be ready. Its not our responsibility to tell the world and stop perpetrators everywhere from doing what they are doing. If we can assist great. If we cant thats ok too. Our own recovery is paramount.