"I Seek" (triggers)

"I Seek" (triggers)
The touch, the warmth, the scent
The weight, the surroundings, I seek
A desire stronger than any physical strength
As I reach to feel once again

An imprint that never fades
It reveals the loss of control that I wade
Others just don't understand why the demand
But the desire I seek to feel it in my hand

Help me believe, I can seek only in my mind
As greater pain would fall if I act upon the call
Why I seek comfort from my past
I must wait it out until it no longer last or embrace
 
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@LRD thank you for posting and sharing this poem with us here. As we can all attest to, the abuse leaves us with baggage that we are burdened with carrying as we move through our lives. It can also leave us with vacancies and an emptiness that we sometimes feel a desperate need to fill or plug. Many of us spend our lives trying to fill those voids, turning to many coping mechanisms sometimes out of desperation. It's not unusual for the additional pressures/memories associated with the holiday season to intensify those lurking hungers we have. I think this poem will help others here know that they are not alone on this emotional rollercoaster. It helps me, so thank you.
 
This is still that internal struggle so many of us here are experiencing.
You have expressed this so well. Thank you.
 
@AlexBoyd & @Darren White, Yes, the underlying current that one deals with when it comes to those intense urges to act out, can be quite debilitating. Stressful times such as the holiday season for me seem to be the worst. Thank you both for your understanding and support! LRD
 
Very well compose, @LRD
Thank you for sharing your ongoing struggles. The holiday season has always been a challenge for me too.
Peace.
 
@82Tango, thank you! I hope it can help others understand that there is no shame. The support of there’s can help you get through it. Take care! LRD
 
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