I saw a therapist today

I saw a therapist today
J

jesse7

Registrant
Okay, so I went to see a psychologist at the college Student Services today. Surprisingly, it wasn't as bad as I had expected. She seemed friendly enough considering how much I distrust most people especially the "experts." What was surprising was her precise intuition for detecting when I shut-off. She was quite aware when I had become numb so I had a hard time hiding from her and I became tense.

A weird thing happened--she decided to sit right next to me and gazed into my eyes and said in a very soft tone: "You aren't good enough are you? You've never been good enough. What else do you tell yourself? What else does that inner voice say to you? That voice that won't ever let you rest..." I got nervous when she did this. I began staring at the ground almost immediately and wanted to run out of the office. I think it's the first time a therapist almost triggered what normally starts to happen when I get in withdrawal mode. I don't know if it was because she sat so close to me or because of what she said or how she said it, but I almost withdrew and the only reason I didn't was time had ran out.

Before we were done she told me what the other previous therapists had already said to me:
you need to be seen by someone else because your case is beyond our ability to help and you need to be working with a therapist for more than just the few months we can work with. It's the same story again but a different therapist. When will it ever end?

Jesse
 
I know its frustrating to be told that they can't help you. But you don't want someone who is inexpierenced in this situation.

Your best bet is to contact the Maricopa County Referral service at 602-263-8856 or the
Center against Sexual Assault at 602-254-9000 and find out if there is a local rape crisis center that has therapists who have expierence with men or perhaps they can refer you to a private therapist or another rape crisis center in your area.

I know it feels like rape crisis centers only work with women but alot of them now also have programs for men.

More importantly don't give up, you have us and we'll help you through this.
 
Sorry it didn't work out Jesse, but know this, the fact that you shared your experience is helping me.

She said, "Your not good enough."

That voice or feeling that runs through most of us is a difficult thing to work through. Your post helps me remember that I have to watch out for that one and fight it at all cost. We are good enough, we were abused into feeling ashamed and the feeling of not being good enough comes from feeling responsible for something we had no control over nor did we ask for it to happen. We bring that shame into our adult life and the superman syndrome comes out, always trying to prove our worth, but almost never recognizing our accomplishments as triumph. Rambling, sorry but it helps to right this out.

I would be happy she was honest with you, I like the truth and if she was not capable of helping you she did you a favor. Its like the plumber telling you he can do something that he can't and charging you for it when it does not work.

Good luck Jesse,
 
Jesse,

That was a very upsetting experience you describe with this new therapist. Frankly I would physically push at least verbally confront any therapist who would get that close to me with out asking for permisson. The violation of space and decreasing safety is very odd. Not sure about the context of what she said to you ... but makes me question her skill and approach. Giving what you've shared briefly I wouldn't find another therapist ... knowing me I'd confront the therapist and tell her/him how inappropriate I found their behavior/approach. At least negotiate boundaries of what is okay and what is not okay in therapy. Again ... just a perspective based on limited information.

Courage-Wisdom-Spirituality
 
Jesse,

I would like to join in with Born to Resist in his comments. This was your first time with a therapist, and ANY T worth a nickel would know that new people are likely to be extremely fragile and nervous. The last thing to do is sit down right next to the client and ask him, "You aren't good enough are you? You've never been good enough. What else do you tell yourself? What else does that inner voice say to you? That voice that won't ever let you rest..." That's just outrageous, and all I can say is thank God at least they knew they are not qualified to help you.

Your post in fact makes me think that perhaps what we need is a thread on what going to see a T SHOULD be like. I hope you will read the posts and get an idea of what a great experience seeing a skilled therapist can be.

Much love,
Larry
 
Mark,

Two options:

1) PM Ste or Lloydy. They have a lot of info on resources in the UK.

2) Go to https://www.survivorsswindon.com/

3) PM me and let me know in detail what you need and I will see what I can find. It would help me to know where in England you are, but stay safe. Don't give that information if it makes you uncomfortable.

Much love,
Larry
 
Jesse,

I think she was being a little testy with you.
She should have respected your trust and boundaries.

I had one psyche doc run a mile on one occasion.
It is the only medical condition were we have to pretty much know what we need and not get diagnosed with what we need.

I see a psyche doc in June, and I will be demanding to get the right meds, and access to the right therapy.

One thing is to never give up, keep trying until you get what you want,

ste
 
Thanks for the all advice and the comments. Sometimes I think I'm better off treating myself :(

Jesse
 
Jesse,

Please don't give up on therapy because of your recent experience. It really will do you a world of good once you are with the right person.

Much love,
Larry
 
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