i really need to get high

i really need to get high
Well, it's your own history - you can talk about it or not, as you choose. I don't blame you for feeling upset with yourself about that stuff, though - I felt fairly the same way for quite a while. My opinion changed over time, as I'm sure yours will - but, for now, you deal with things the best you know how.
 
Adam,

Hugs to you, My Friend.

John
 
jaysen would it help to know that your helping me try to stay straight ? sometimes we can help without even knowing that we did. i think its brave that your talking and in the process your helping me . john you said two of the sweetest words i know in your post ,my friend ,know whats more valuable than my next fix? your friendship . adam
 
For me, the key to Adam's situation is when he said recovery means nothing if your jonesing. I told my T the same thing. At the time I was getting high and drinking, both in the moderate range, but since I keep a journal and document everthing, I noticed that I was starting to become real dependent on each of them, and so I told my T "I don't want to get all recovered and then end up alone drunk in the street telling everyone how 'recovered I got'". I want to get to the point in recovery that I feel so good that I don't want to mess up those good feelings. But I'm not nearly there yet and I struggle with the stuff that Adam's going through, though not with the same intensity. Ultimately, for all of us, it has to come from within. And within us all who come to this board, there's plenty of reason to do the awful stuff we do to ourselves. Just try to minimize the damage, Adam, until the next surge of strength that always comes.
 
Heh, I can relate to jonesing. I have nine minutes to rush to the gas station to get beer before it closes. However, those nine minutes seem like an eternity. Must keep my mind on positive things, uh, beer! Typing this is keeping my mind off it so I don't end up going to grab some cold ones. I'll probably be laying awake tonight for hours because I'm used to drinking a six pack to help me to sleep. ""six minutes left"", I continue to write how much jonesing sucks but I do know from experience that it does go away in time. I'm tired of constantly worrying about what drinking everynight is doing to my body. I'm 24 and I feel like I'm dying from the shit. ""3 minutes left"". I now know there's no way to get beer on time, do I wanna go to the bar, hell no! A cold glass of water, a warm bed, and a good nights sleep sounds more appealing than beer. ""time is up and the gas stations are no longer selling alcohol"". Thanks for giving me a way to beat it just for tonite. You rock shadowkid. Your not alone. Were in this together.
 
Yep, still sober
 
Adam, thanks but I can't imagine me helping anyone really. If I am then I'm glad I am. Then again, if I fuck up and fall off the wagon what does that mean to you?
 
hey its cool k? well if you fuck up and fall off the wagon ,it would mean your human ,and it would tell me i dont have to be superhuman to get to where you are. if you fall then its up to the people you have helped to help you back up. adam
 
adam I care enough to say take good care of your body, there are other things to make you feel good inside.

you take care ok.

MJ
 
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