I need to help my dad
I'm a 28 year old man working hard to overcome my upbringing and maintain a healthy marriage with a new child. It's not impossible to do, but every day you have to consciously decide to stifle an unhealthy behavior pattern programmed into you since before you could decide what was right or wrong.
I have worked hard to understand these things in myself, examined my past relationships and tried to find individual event mistakes and misguided trends. You never stop looking inward if you care to get it right on the outside.
But still I come to you for help. I don't know what I can do to help my father, locked into this by whatever forces came about even before my birth. I've heard one version of the story. I've even heard a simplified version of the same story, heavily moderated in realtime, come from the other parent's mouth. He's locked there inside somewhere, and though I know they both have contributed to it, there is no balance of power between them. What they have left is sick.
He says, "I love you." She responds, "OK." She demands to hear a full report about his every day. He must have "made some mistake" during that time every day, such as looking at a female colleague or being nice to pretty much anyone. If he hasn't, he's a liar and the fight lasts three days. If he has, he's trying and made a mistake and he'll only be punished for the day. He usually either deliberately makes the "mistake" or tries to weave it into his story of the day regardless of whether it actually occurred.
You see, she rigs the test so he must fail. It's part of her addiction to rage.
I have bottled audio recordings of hours of this, but since I've always been in their presence wearing the recording device when it's happened, I'm certain not even I know the worst of it. I swear it's textbook battered man.
I will thoroughly elaborate but my six month old daughter just woke from her nap and her needs must be addressed now. bbs to finish.
~ dan ~
I have worked hard to understand these things in myself, examined my past relationships and tried to find individual event mistakes and misguided trends. You never stop looking inward if you care to get it right on the outside.
But still I come to you for help. I don't know what I can do to help my father, locked into this by whatever forces came about even before my birth. I've heard one version of the story. I've even heard a simplified version of the same story, heavily moderated in realtime, come from the other parent's mouth. He's locked there inside somewhere, and though I know they both have contributed to it, there is no balance of power between them. What they have left is sick.
He says, "I love you." She responds, "OK." She demands to hear a full report about his every day. He must have "made some mistake" during that time every day, such as looking at a female colleague or being nice to pretty much anyone. If he hasn't, he's a liar and the fight lasts three days. If he has, he's trying and made a mistake and he'll only be punished for the day. He usually either deliberately makes the "mistake" or tries to weave it into his story of the day regardless of whether it actually occurred.
You see, she rigs the test so he must fail. It's part of her addiction to rage.
I have bottled audio recordings of hours of this, but since I've always been in their presence wearing the recording device when it's happened, I'm certain not even I know the worst of it. I swear it's textbook battered man.
I will thoroughly elaborate but my six month old daughter just woke from her nap and her needs must be addressed now. bbs to finish.
~ dan ~